Breaking Free from Addiction: My Journey

Let’s get one thing straight, I am and always have been an addict. I crave stimulation. I am making no excuses for my toxic decisions and spent a long time breaking down cause and effect so that one day my triggers will not have a grip on me. 10 years of giving those demons free rent is a wild thing to wrap my head around. From the bottom of my heart, I never thought I’d get here. All those nights of praying HARD to God we’re not in vain. Now-a-days, my body freaks out, shuts down, has a panic attack for things I need to get through the day. Sip of coffee? PANIC ATTACK. Tylenol for the migraine? PANIC ATTACK! Deodorant because I’m sweating? OVERSTIMULATED. Zquill bc I haven’t slept in days? INSOMNIA FOR ANOTHER 2. I fall in the tub from vertigo. I wear earplugs to the movies. Feels like the equivalent of “sit in the corner and think about your actions”, while I spend most days stuck in bed and reflect on all the terrible choices I made to get me here.