Can't Stop Justifying My Addiction

I'm so different... I let my secret out. It was too much of a burden on me and my mental, physical, and emotional health to keep hiding and worry about what people thought about me.... All the way down to my children. It broke a lot relationships I had... At first it tore me apart and made me use more. As time went on and I continued to use the people who turned their back on me, turned around and realized no one is perfect. Everyone has an addiction to something... And no sin is greater than the other.... Although they didn't want this for my life, they helped me heal and still use right to this day.... But coming from everyday all day in a five year binge , to once a week is phenomenal!!! I've come s long way and learned a whole lot about myself and people. This journey was life changing and it broke me in every aspect.. to make a long story short, I'm changing involuntarily and I'm so glad a higher power stepped in to guide me through the proper steps to get where I am today. I was very functional.. I had my ish together and one day I slipped.... Lost everything even my kids.... But slowly recovering this will be year 2 January 7th on my birthday I lost everything... But soon to regain it all back. Let a man without sin cast the first stone... Not one person on this earth can... As long as you're happy, do your thing... But when you hear that call you better answer cause if you don't, it will only get worse until you surrender to THE MOST HIGH. That's what's happening to me but I'm thankful for every blessing and every curse because it wouldn't have made me the person I am today. (THANKFUL FOR IT ALL)

it’s been almost 3 years since I started using and still only about 3 people know, It can be frustrating knowing that you can’t tell anybody about something that weighs on your entire life

I identify with this so much. No one knows that I still drink almost every night. I tell people I’m sober. It’s exhausting and makes me hate myself. It’s been going on for decades and I’m afraid that I’ll never stop and it will kill me early.