Struggling with Sobriety: Is It Worth It?

You get to a point where drugs turn on you and life becomes a living hell. You continually progress in addiction until you need to use insane amounts of meth and/or heroin every day just to make it through the day. You need to spend hundreds of dollars per day just to get by. It even becomes a priority over food and water. If you don't have it, you'll be stuck on the bathroom floor for days in the most pain you've ever been in your life, running the shower just so you can get an hour of sleep. Then you either get so tired of the suffering that you fight through the pain and get clean, or you continue to progress until you die. For drugs the final stop is meth, heroin, and crack, but alcohol will have the exact same effect. With alcohol, the spiral just seems to be a longer process than with something like heroin.

Being completely sober terrifies me. It really does.

I am not sober now, but I remember my year of sobriety. It was HARD, I gained a lot of weight, lost my boyfriend of 5 years and went through a deep depression. I remember hearing people at AA talking about how great their lives became after they stopped using or drinking and I was so jealous of them. Now I think I understand a little better - there was something I could be proud of, something that took effort and a tremendous amount of strength and I look forward to getting there again. This time, I have a better understanding. A few tips for myself are, stay away from delivery food and sweets, don't forget to celebrate the milestones and when I go back to aa, make it worth my while. It IS possible, but it is scary. Sometimes scary is exactly what we need. My inbox is open, but like I said before I am not completely sober. But I understand how you feel so much.

I have gone through many years of drug abuse, went periods without using but this is the longest I have ever gone without using. It you ever need to talk inbox me

I thought the same thing after using for a decade. Now I've been over a year clean from all drugs and alcohol/cigs for about 2 months, it was almost a year before I relapsed. I'm still new at this. I thought my quality of life would diminish. It has only gotten better and easier. It's not easy to start. I know, it seems like there is no life besides drugs and alcohol. And some days are still hard and man do I miss substances sometimes. But I'm better for it. Life is just a little different now. Not in a bad way. Priorities change too as you get older and grow as a person. I'm just a different person with a better set of values and now with a different and more effective set of coping skills, I'm not just self-medicating. I'm no longer surviving life, I'm actually starting to live it. Getting sober is hard. And it won't work if you don't want it to. But it gets easier and life can be enjoyable without substances, I promise.

I would never trade my sober days for days that are drug fueled. I learned though that my drug abuse was because of my mental health. I would use Coke because it would help me concentrate, I have ADD, drinking for my bipolar, depression and anxiety. Now that I take meds for these things I always want to feel like I do. Also, God has brought me so far in this battle.