Why do survivors of SA often feel like harming themselves?

In therapy I learned there are a few reasons for this but the biggest one is the need to exert control over your own body. I'm wish that had never happened to you and you never had to feel this type of pain. You aren't alone. There are other reasons such as self hatred for allowing it to happen even though logically you understand you didn't allow it it was forced, that it isnt your fault but some feel the need to punish themselves. I found ways to cope with this. Cutting and dying my hair was my first willful act to take control. After that i would draw on myself. I would draw little butterflys on my wrist to remind myself I am not alone. With you in spirit ❤️