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E_belli

437d

So I have to share this extremely humiliating story that just happened at the Walgreens! Maybe you'll get a kick out of it or you can relate. It is semi-humorous now since it is over and I am reflecting, it was not at the time. It is a mouthful. Context: I have PTSD. I’d call this period a flare. I've slept 144 hours in 7 weeks. Which is either no sleep to no more than 3 hrs a night. Had some emotional triggers recently - got a friend request from my first abuser (older half-brother) which threw me off and started many trauma nightmares/sleep flashbacks/reliving nights so no sleep. Which makes you super sensitive. Then I found out my abuser at 37 was in a relationship with a 16-year-old and trying to sleep with her. He started this shit 26 years ago, who knows how many in between them. Been waking up swearing, screaming, crying, and having massive panic attacks and flashbacks. Had a bit of a meltdown in my car twice but was alone. The story: Went to Walgreens pharmacy. Some unruly monkey child was running and knocked me flat on my ass and got a “big cup” Reese's peanut butter cup smooshed on my chest. The smell & taste of peanut butter is one of my biggest, most intense triggers. And what happened? Massive dry heaving, sobbing panic attack mixed with an awful flashback meltdown in the middle of the pharmacy. Ended up in the fetal position. The pharmacist almost called 911, but somehow I was coherent enough for a second to say no. Luckily, they were trained in mental health first aid (thanks to the health dept, my employer, for teaching healthcare profs) and the lady helped me thru it. Now I know hands in how to use it ain't I've been certified twice. Mind you, still in the pharmacy, still on the floor. This proceeded for idk probs 30 mins. This pharmacy was about 2 blocks from the main work office. I will never be able to show my face there. So humiliating. I'm sure it was humorous to watch. So yeah. Now I'm exhausted. But not sleepy. Lucky me. The only good thing is apparently I worried my psychiatrist enough for her to find time to chat with me tomorrow. Instead of her “first” open appt on March 9th 🫢 I left a message and she told the front desk lady a whole bunch of questions and I guess I sounded crazy enough. Haha. So hopefully I can get some meds and get some freaking relaxing sleep!! Thanks, everyone for answering all my PTSD/nightmare/med-related questions. Much appreciated! Hopefully, the end of this long 7-week day is coming soon! If there is something this taught me is that you have to reach out to your psych when you need help. I would naturally have waited another 35 days for my next appt to come, unless it was for you guys being super helpful and supportive. I haven't actually talked to her yet.. But she's a good lady, I have some faith in her! Thanks y’all 💕

Top reply
    • goronkiss

      418d

      I'm sorry you have been suffering! I laughed at "unruly monkey child" so thanks for coping with humor!

    • goronkiss

      418d

      I'm sorry you have been suffering! I laughed at "unruly monkey child" so thanks for coping with humor!

    • PrettyPolar2

      422d

      Wow it sounds like you need to get a new psych if this is the only thing that warrants an appointment. You should be having someone help you at least once a week, you deserve every drop of someone's care! ❤️

      • E_belli

        418d

        @PrettyPolar2 usually she is pretty good! I guess it probably would have been on my favor if I said it was an emergency haha. But I'm just glad I got in quickly!

    • hippo05

      435d

      I'm glad you can find some humor in it looking back. That can help you heal in the long run. You also reflected and saw some positives: someone was there who knew how to help, you got in with your dr sooner, and you could identify that even though it felt like an emergency in the moment it wasn't bad enough to call 911. Those are all great! I'm proud of you for handling it as well as you did, as that shows a lot of progress from where you mightve been in the past.

      • E_belli

        435d

        @hippo05 Thanks! You make a good point. If I had done this when I was younger I would literally never shop in the town again. Haha. It looks like my skills are finally paying off, thanks work! Thank you for helping me reflect on that!

    • MrsD2023

      437d

      Wow, you are going through it right now 😥 sounds awful for you. So glad they had the correct training to help you. Our NHS needs more training in mental health in my opinion. Please don't be too embarrassed to go to the pharmacy. If anyone should understand, it's the ones who dish out medication. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I hope your appointment helps you xx

      • E_belli

        435d

        @MrsD2023 me too! And I agree, I work for the local health dept in behavioral health and it is something that is really important to our agency. Especially with the 988 number coming out, there are specific police that are training specifically for crisis response/mental health situations. We hold mental health first aid, crisis prevention, asist training on suicide, and responding to those situations. Along with other suicide training that is required by the entire agency. As is the crisis prevention. We all have to take a CPI course every year. Everyone has Narcan training and a free Narcan vending machine. We have a lot of great programs. But yes you are right. They know what meds are all about. And glad they knew what they were doing. Thank you for saying that.

    • TheMoonGoddess420

      437d

      ❤️❤️❤️

    • brendaboppers

      437d

      I'm so sorry you went thru this, but thankful the right people were there to help you. I'm so glad you don't need to wait another 5 weeks to get help, too. I hope you can get some rest.

      • E_belli

        435d

        @brendaboppers me too. I guess mental health first aid works pretty well haha. I've been certified twice so I guess that's good. Glad it helps non mental health profs! I hope so too. My psych said it won't work right away and that it could take a while to find the right dose. So joy.. But I did get more sleep last night, maybe bc it lowered my blood pressure haha.

    • Barbiegrl

      437d

      I’m so sorry you had such an awful day. One thing I’ll say is that seroquel is great for sleep. It is sometimes prescribed off-label at a low dose for sleep (it is an antipsychotic)

      • E_belli

        435d

        @Barbiegrl thanks. And yes! I was on Seroquel for a very long time. I was actually massively over-prescribed and I got in a car accident. But I do agree, the sleep was really great! Haha.

    • Motley

      437d

      I'm certain no one found it funny, aside from maybe the odd jackass. Most people have at least minor experience with mental anguish and can recognize it when they see it. It's good that you got your psychiatrist's attention though, I've been trying to tell mine that I'm in a dangerously low state but they've still insisted I wait a month. The healthcare system is just not as helpful as they need to be.

      • E_belli

        435d

        @Motley That is a very good point. Me too. She wasn't as questioning as she usually is. Which is fine. I was actually at work in the back room and my supervisor was in the room 2 ft from mine. So. It is def for the best. I got what I needed. I'm sure she will be nosey next month. I'm just appreciative that she got me in in like 24 hours. I'm so sorry! I hate when they don't listen especially when you really need help. I feel like sometimes they make ppl wait too long and things just get worse. And they're shocked. I agree with you. The system is shit! We can do so much better and more.

    • HocusFocus

      437d

      Glad they could help

      • E_belli

        435d

        @HocusFocus me too!

    • HocusFocus

      437d

      I'm here for you and I can relate but in a semi different way. I do have PTSD. I have been left in public after being abused by my now exes and just bawling or having panic attacks. I'll randomly start having panic attacks from being triggered and no one usually notices or cares unless they look at me like I'm mental. I've had several random breakdowns though, sometimes over stupid stuff because of it. My empathy abilities doesn't help. Someone coming up behind me will literally send me into fight mode, panic or both. The phrase good girl if not said by my current boyfriend will send me into hysteria. I'm here. I have nightmares too. I understand.

      • E_belli

        435d

        @HocusFocus I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hate the public stuff. I have an issue with that too! I always make ppl go in doors before me before me otherwise it feels like I'm being trapped. It doesn't have as big of a reaction with me as it used to. I'm sorry that happens to you bc that happens so much just in everyday life. I'm not good with doors shutting and especially being locked behind me. Even if I do it but especially if someone else does it. Depending on my mood, it can cause a big reaction. Which it did recently. At work. Super embarrassing. I hate how the tiniest triggers can create such a big reaction. And also small things bc ppl don't get it get it and think that you're just being over-emotional when it is not a little emotion it is a lot from a little thing. I'm sorry about your nightmares. Do you take anything for them?

    • Jangel

      437d

      Hello! I’m so sorry to hear that things have been so rough. I don’t have ptsd, but I have been in situations in stores/in public where I’ve fainted or acted incoherently due to blood sugar issues, or had panic attacks in public. I feel the embarrassment but you can absolutely go back! I’ve found that people will generally move on pretty quickly. Or they’ll check in if they see you. Definitely glad that you were able to get a much earlier appointment!! Best of luck and hope all goes well 💕

      • E_belli

        435d

        @Jangel you are strong! You're probs right. I know that we think about situations far more than others do. I'm just hoping no staff or clients were there! But I will surely try! I'm just thankful it wasn't my pharmacy bc I would literally switch pharmacies bc I know some of them VERY well. Like 18 years well haha. Thank you for hour reassurance!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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