437d
So I have to share this extremely humiliating story that just happened at the Walgreens! Maybe you'll get a kick out of it or you can relate. It is semi-humorous now since it is over and I am reflecting, it was not at the time. It is a mouthful. Context: I have PTSD. I’d call this period a flare. I've slept 144 hours in 7 weeks. Which is either no sleep to no more than 3 hrs a night. Had some emotional triggers recently - got a friend request from my first abuser (older half-brother) which threw me off and started many trauma nightmares/sleep flashbacks/reliving nights so no sleep. Which makes you super sensitive. Then I found out my abuser at 37 was in a relationship with a 16-year-old and trying to sleep with her. He started this shit 26 years ago, who knows how many in between them. Been waking up swearing, screaming, crying, and having massive panic attacks and flashbacks. Had a bit of a meltdown in my car twice but was alone. The story: Went to Walgreens pharmacy. Some unruly monkey child was running and knocked me flat on my ass and got a “big cup” Reese's peanut butter cup smooshed on my chest. The smell & taste of peanut butter is one of my biggest, most intense triggers. And what happened? Massive dry heaving, sobbing panic attack mixed with an awful flashback meltdown in the middle of the pharmacy. Ended up in the fetal position. The pharmacist almost called 911, but somehow I was coherent enough for a second to say no. Luckily, they were trained in mental health first aid (thanks to the health dept, my employer, for teaching healthcare profs) and the lady helped me thru it. Now I know hands in how to use it ain't I've been certified twice. Mind you, still in the pharmacy, still on the floor. This proceeded for idk probs 30 mins. This pharmacy was about 2 blocks from the main work office. I will never be able to show my face there. So humiliating. I'm sure it was humorous to watch. So yeah. Now I'm exhausted. But not sleepy. Lucky me. The only good thing is apparently I worried my psychiatrist enough for her to find time to chat with me tomorrow. Instead of her “first” open appt on March 9th 🫢 I left a message and she told the front desk lady a whole bunch of questions and I guess I sounded crazy enough. Haha. So hopefully I can get some meds and get some freaking relaxing sleep!! Thanks, everyone for answering all my PTSD/nightmare/med-related questions. Much appreciated! Hopefully, the end of this long 7-week day is coming soon! If there is something this taught me is that you have to reach out to your psych when you need help. I would naturally have waited another 35 days for my next appt to come, unless it was for you guys being super helpful and supportive. I haven't actually talked to her yet.. But she's a good lady, I have some faith in her! Thanks y’all 💕
Chronic Memory Loss
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Persistent Insomnia
Complex post traumatic stress disorder
Lethargy
Anxiety (Including GAD)
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Bupropion
night sweats
paranoid
Valium
sertraline
palpitations
Anxiety (Including GAD)
Depression
palpitations
Depression
Valium
Bupropion
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