Struggling with Friendship Anxiety: Need Advice

Oh my gosh, I remember this feeling, I'm just now thinking about it for the first time since forever ago. What happened to that feeling... Oh yeah I don't see any friends anymore (just family and partner), problem solved hahaha X.x I don't know you or your situation but if I could advise my past self about this I would say "hey WiddlyScuds, you've got a special brain and it's ok to sometimes be uncomfortably open and honest with people, it'll be scary and awkward af but it might lead to deeper relationships and having a way more comfortable experience in life." Option 1: Get confident, I love you PetrichorGhost so you should love you too. And people are busy! Who's got the time or energy to hang out with someone that they pity? Option 2: Just ask! You could try something like "hey so weird question, some stuff has happened and I'm feeling a bit insecure, thanks for including me, why do you like hanging out with me?" I hope this is easy to read and comes across nicely, I tried but like many of us on here: i dOn'T cOmMuNiCaTe GoOd 🙃

I think that's why I don't have friends anymore. Even my dad quit touching me for the most part. No hugs, kisses, ect.

Yes I struggle with the insecurity everyday but I have to fight it cause I know it's wrong. The people in my life want to be here it's not even a doubt in my mind although it is and I just have to repeat to myself that they want to be there if they didn't they wouldnt and they put up with a lot of my bullshit and try to still love me and be in my life. Cause I be on some bullshit sometimes. And they know and they call me.out on it and that's one of the things people in your life do to help you not to make fun of you although if people are making fun of you don't worry about them we all come to face the consequences of our actions eventually in life and they shall to. I hate thinking like that but for every horrid thought I have I try to have like 3 or more good thoughts it helps to think positively more than you think it does. Our words and what we tell ourselves is what we believe so be good to yourself and try to think like they want to be my friend because of my smile or because of something about you and you have to be positive towards yourself too it's kind of crazy but I'm telling you this is my Experiance to hopefully help you. Or help someone. It took me 3yrs to get this positivity shit down and think positively after having a negative thought it takes a lot of practice and I'm working on the believing myself or trusting myself thing been with a narcissist takes time to get over them because they are worthless POS. Anyway hope your day is better.

TBH maybe it's not the most Convenient route for people, and not everyone is going to take it in stride, but I've come to accept that for me, just ripping the bandaid off and asking is what helps most. I'm ofc going through therapy to alter the way I think and shrink down the problem at its core, so I ask less often. But I've come to accept that for myself, it's better if I just swallow my fear to ask if anything is wrong, so they'll either say Yes and we'll work it out, or No and I'll feel better for a bit. It definitely beats isolating myself, and definitely better for everyone than letting the feelings just fester and Grow until they eventually explode out all at once.