Do I Have an Eating Disorder? Unsure and in Pain

It does sound as though you have anorexia purging subtype, if it’s on and off that can mean it’s developing or you’re fighting it especially if you do it more when you’re in a low or anxious mood. I would put your name on the register for therapy, im not sure if you live in uk but we have free therapy here if you can’t pay for private but the waiting list is terrible. Still good to put your name down as at least it’s something that could help in the future. In the mean time I would really recommend talking to your doctor and if they’re not educated on eating disorders mayb ask to see another doctor from the company. It sucks that it’s so hard to get help especially when it’s something so personal that even asking once is such a difficult thing. I think it would be really worth it though as you deserve help and you are definitely sick enough<3, anyone who has disordered eating or thinking is sick enough it’s really not worth it waiting for things to get bad it sucks your whole life away and I’m definitely being a hypocrite saying that:/ if the doctors can’t help you can start to recover yourself, if you have family or friends to support you that’s a huge plus but you can definitely do this yourself. People with eating disorders are rly clever, they know how horrible the world can be and want to escape, thing is it can also be beautiful sometimes it’s just harder to see. You probably know about calories and how to gradually increase intake, even try eating x amount a day (whatever is a lil bit of a challenge but still comfortable for you) for a week and keeping it down. Hopefully you’ll feel a bit more in control as it’s easier to think clearly when you’re eating stably and you can try a tiny bit more. I wish you all the love and luck in the world xxx

honestly it really depends on the doctor. some will see it as an actual mental illness but others will disregard you if you dont fit specific criteria or weight. but i'd say give it a shot, you deserve the help. purging is really dangerous