Dealing with Constant Suicidal Thoughts

I've been suicidal since 11 too, and diagnosed depressed a few years ago. For me it's taken a variety of mindset changes, therapists and medications to feel properly stable. It's still a struggle and always will be, but I've been able to replace my dangerous coping mechanisms with healthier ones and feel a little more at home in the world as a result of all the help. Everyone needs different things, and different amounts of time, but there will always, always be a way to find your own reasons to live. If you can get through those horrible lows, you can get through anything, and there will always be people out there who can understand and help. It takes time to find them, but you will find them, i promise. ♡

I had SI from 13–18, the main things that really helped me was lots of therapy, getting out of a toxic environment that was stopping me from healing, and trying to change my mindset. It can become habitual to respond automatically to things going wrong or feeling down with suicidal thoughts but if we can change that, it genuinely shifts our mindset. I went from using "I want to d*e" to "I want to get in the trash" and eventually to being able to accept things when they suck. Slowly when you start to respond in other ways besides SI, you can kinda train yourself out it a bit. Not to say that those thoughts don't pop up occassionally, but replacing them with something else and learning to heal through therapy has completely changed my perspective. Sending love, you truly can heal and you deserve peace and happiness 💜💜💜

I have had constant SI for the past 9 years. The longest I was out of the hospital was a few months. In the past two ish years the longest has been 5 weeks. It is very difficult to get through especially if the trigger is unknown or can't be changed. I wish I knew how to help you, but at this point I can't even help myself. Just know that you are not alone and there are people in this world who love you.

I have struggled with SI for more than 4 years and now I am very grateful to have been out of the hospital for more than two months! You got this!