Coping with the Pain of an Abusive Relationship

That is great advice. 😥 I wish I knew the answer to it for sure. I am on my healing journey as well but mine just started. My husband left in 2019 with another woman ...and I am still dumb enough to be waiting as he requested me to do.

PTSD can take years to overcome and the healing process is rarely straight forward, it's important to firstly be patient and understanding with yourself as well as celebrating any improvements. The first step for healing is getting completely out of the situation, being sure your abuser cannot hurt you any longer ensures that he cannot do any further damage to your mental health as well. Next is making sure to remind yourself that it is not, and never was, your fault. A partner does not hurt their partner or do anything with the intention of hurting them, that is something we all know on a logic based level but since abusers groom their victims into accepting it by manipulating them it severely affects our emotional level to accept this as fact, reminding yourself of this and that any justification he made always was a manipulation tactic to allow him to continue can help ground you id you find yourself blaming anyone but him for the abuse. On top of that it's also helpful to forgive yourself, part of some people's reasoning behind blaming themselves is that they should have "known better" and left or because part of the abuse they've experienced includes their abuser telling them that they deserve it because they are not likeable in some way but abuse can happen to ANYONE, regardless of how intelligent, attractive, likeable, ect they are. This is not something that is your fault nor do you have anything to apologize for, forgiving your past self for any precieved "causes" and relieving yourself of that can help you accept that it happened but it is over and it is time to begin moving on and healing.

I smoke pot