Struggling with ASD and Personality Disorder - Need Advice on DBT Group Therapy

yeah personally I get triggered a lot by interpersonal interaction so groups can be tricky for me. All the group therapy I've done has been online video calls, which has made it MAJORLY more accessible for me than in person would be. Definitely helps it to feel like people are a safe distance away, like I could escape if i need to. Plus I can feel physically comfortable and safe at home instead of somewhere unfamiliar and sensorially bad. I think it's difficult to get much benefit from therapy if the experience makes you feel overwhelmed/overstimulated/unsafe. I know for me if i force myself to do stuff that makes me feel bad in that way, i will at some point burn out and avoid it completely (may have still done that with my online dbt group, oops) The dbt participants were fine, i felt like in my group they had mostly opposite problems to me which made it a bit difficult to relate (adding to my unsafe vibes but that's not their fault). They seemed to have strong expression of feelings and wanted tools to control their behaviour, which i guess is the goal of dbt so I hope it worked better for them than me. Mostly we learned techniques from slideshows, worksheets etc. it wasn't delving into people's feelings too deep, i would say it was a lot more logic/learning stuff than emotionally intense.

Only thing I took out of dbt was being able to take a pause moment in intense reaction or feels, and try to see why im feeling this way (am I in pain? Low bloodsugar/hangry, am I having an anxiety attack, over or under stimulated). It doesn't always help, but at least may be able to communicate needs better or apologise to my parent for lashing out because I realise im hungry and the low sugar anxiety panic is causing me to be overstimulated or literally rip my skin off irritated feeling.

I did group dbt back in mid 2000's not by choice mind you as I was a minor. Personally I didn't like it. Felt competitive. Lied on my worksheets. Had a hard time verbally participating due to my "shyness" or social anxiety. Part of shyness is now that I believe im autistic and adhd now as ive hit 30 this year and learning more and more over the last 5/7 yrs, and I was behind in speaking till my year younger sibling started to speak as a toddler. I can be quite talkative but being negatively put down for excessive info about topic or apparently know-it-all perfect person, or just that no one simply asked me has also made me just shut down, become snippy/short in response or giving the "silent treatment" because im trying to internalize my feelings to not have an emotional outburst that gets me further in trouble. This still happens to me by people close to me in my life (like my parents/family/friends) at 30 yrs.