susuwatari

13d

anyone else feel like they self-sabotage their own recovery sometimes? i feel like im almost causing my depression at times.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Chronic Generalized pain

Depression

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  • Bre19

    12d

    Definitely can relate to this sometimes I feel like I am for sure

    • susuwatari

      11d

      me too it's like I can't help doing the things I know makes it worse

  • Amimae

    12d

    Yes when I'm at my lowest of lows I'm usually easy to give up and just get swallowed up in my depression.

    • susuwatari

      11d

      this is exactly how I feel too - its like i get exhausted with the performance of it so I just give in to it

  • huaa

    12d

    I definitely self sabatoge I think in all areas of my life😥

    • susuwatari

      11d

      I'm currently going through a breakup and exams and I've definitely made them both worse for myself so I get this

      • huaa

        11d

        breakup and exams oh man "deep breaths" you got this

  • oliviaaa

    11d

    definitely, its almost like i feel better at my worst than being happier ya know? so i tend to cause myself to fall back into everything, even though it hurts

    • susuwatari

      11d

      exactly! It feels like a performance to be happy, and I get so tired with it I fall back into it all because it feels natural

  • canadaisntreal

    11d

    absolutely. constantly

  • zorro

    11d

    i force myself to get sad so i can relapse lol.the only way i can stop is by ignoring emotions and not thinking

    • susuwatari

      11d

      I'm the same I need to completely shut off my brain most of the time :(

  • SecondChance

    10d

    Ooh ooh I know this one because it was me for years. I used to do bad things as a coping mechanism and I lied to myself so I could keep doing them. You can stop, society really makes us make excuses. My best advice..... Just Stop

    • susuwatari

      10d

      this is great advice, I've been really practicing holding myself accountable for my feelings and the things I do to make them worse and its definitely helping slowly!

  • Deszy

    10d

    Man me too like the people I’m around the places I go and other stuff your definitely not alone. But so sorry your also struggling you got this tho! ps im proud of you:)

    • susuwatari

      10d

      thank you sm, I'm proud of you too :)

  • sorenachy

    10d

    I don't think I've truly gotten over my mom's death, and that was almost 3 1/2 yrs ago. I'm angry with her for continuing to smoke even after watching her her own mom died from smoking. So I'm tucking those emotions away because I don't want to deal with them.

    • susuwatari

      10d

      sorry about your loss, I'm also experiencing grief at the moment its so hard ❤️

      • sorenachy

        10d

        yes it is. I wasn't ready for her to go.

  • Jusanemo

    10d

    I feel like this constantly. I have the want to get better. I’m around people who will help me. But I have the constant urge to ruin that. To runaway. Maybe I’m scared? I also have everything I need now to get a therapist but im just scared. So I get this feeling in a way.

    • susuwatari

      10d

      I get this! I'm also so scared, I'm not even sure of what exactly, maybe the work involved? Or that it still won't be enough.

  • avocadocherry

    9d

    all. the. time. i quit therapy because i didn’t put the work in between the sessions. i want to get better, of course, i want to live a better life and be happier and not empty. but its just so hard. especially when you’ve lived that way for so long

    • avocadocherry

      9d

      its so hard to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it, i think. because they’re just like why don’t you put the work in? dont you want to change? and it’s just not that easy

      • susuwatari

        9d

        no I 100% get what you mean, its so hard to explain it to other people. What's helped me describe it, to others and myself, is in terms of a performance - putting work into it, changing, ect for the most part to me feels like a performance of being "well", and to have to do that 24/7 is exhausting, even if you want to do those things it wares you down, it's demanding.

  • RedMeerkat

    9d

    Totally 😥

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