Struggling with Depression: Need Advice

lately I've been feeling really down. no motivation to do much of anything, and going to work feels like raising someone from the afterlife. I've been feeling really lonely, when I think about people I've loved in the past and I start to get sadder and sadder to the point of crying, but no tears come out. I just hold onto my pillow and wait for the emotional destabilization to go away. it seems like any time I talk about my feelings of sadness they start to leave and I feel fake, I feel like none of this is real? it's the feeling of undeniable fear that someone will listen to me speak about my issues and call me a liar, tell me I "self-diagnosed" myself with depression. I feel depressed, I'm not diagnosed with depression, but I've been feeling depressed for a while now. from little spouts here and there to now feeling empty inside since 2020ish. I don't know what I should do. I think I need to see someone sometimes, but it's mitigated by venting it out to someone, or listening to music that makes me feel better, but at some point I need a real representation of "help". I don't know for sure what I need to be doing.