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Intrusive Thoughts About Boyfriend's Ex

micah_1234

657d

i keep having intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend snaps his ex girlfriend beacuse he gave his virginity away to her and I ahve mine away to him and I am sad that we could t do that together. however the worse part is, is that no matter what I do or how much I distract myself I cannot stop thinking about her and those things they did. i thought aking questions would help ease my mind and stop my mind from thinking about it but it didn't and I think about it every single day and it's ruining my life. and not just with that in general if I see any girl that's pretty in public or see it on his Instagram or tik tok I immediately get a pit in my stomach nd almaot puke beacuse my thoughts make me think hed rather have someone else. and it's not like he is like that he actually is very helpful and loves me. but my mind just won't stop having these intrusive thoughts how do I make them stop???

0

5

5

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

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    • SunInAugust

      657d

      You won't. Thats the nature of thoughts. We will always have intrusive thoughts. But I can say that not fighting them will ease that stress **so much more**. "What if my bf wants to leave me for her!?!" An example of a nonegagement response: could be. that would really suck. "Does he think she is more attractive than I am?" An example of a nonengagement reaponse: i will never have certainty about this. Maybe he does maybe he doesn't. I will never really know. When you respond to anxious thoughts combativly you fuel the fire. When you acknowledge the thoughts are never gonna go away, when you acknowledge we have no certainty about any fear or worry, well.....thats all. Like all the anxiety is trying to do is make you answer "what if...?" And if you reply "yeah, could be." Its like the anxiety shuts up because it has no further points to be made.

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    • SunInAugust

      657d

      its the hardest thing to do in the world but the more we avoid that kind of reason the more and more the anxiety takes hold. Its most sustainable of you take it in the smallest baby bites and be very patient and kind with yourself. Thar anxious brain of yours is ultimately trying to keep you safe, don't beat yourself up or be hard on yourself. Fighting anxiety is brutal

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    • finnigan

      657d

      @SunInAugust perfect advice

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      • SunInAugust

        657d

        @finnigan it's good but hard service. Been practicing it myself recently with mt best friend getting so bad at me they spurned me publicly in from of peers and stopped responding. Was obsessively thinking about how to apologize and of they would hate me forever. "That would really really suck. But I dont get to know for certain what they will do. Its okay it hurts, but I don't get to know how this unfolds."

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    • SunInAugust

      657d

      You won't. Thats the nature of thoughts. We will always have intrusive thoughts. But I can say that not fighting them will ease that stress **so much more**. "What if my bf wants to leave me for her!?!" An example of a nonegagement response: could be. that would really suck. "Does he think she is more attractive than I am?" An example of a nonengagement reaponse: i will never have certainty about this. Maybe he does maybe he doesn't. I will never really know. When you respond to anxious thoughts combativly you fuel the fire. When you acknowledge the thoughts are never gonna go away, when you acknowledge we have no certainty about any fear or worry, well.....thats all. Like all the anxiety is trying to do is make you answer "what if...?" And if you reply "yeah, could be." Its like the anxiety shuts up because it has no further points to be made.

      3

      Reply
      • micah_1234

        657d

        @SunInAugust thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my question I will definitely try this.

        2

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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