SunInAugust

158d

Idk if I have OCD I think reassurance tends to actually calm me like its not an endless loop.
But I know I have ocd tendencies like other autistic people
And omg I wish my mind would stop.
I can't stop thinking of stabbing myself in the arm
Its on repeat. Like think or something else please!

It doesn't cause anxiety
I dont have a compulsion
I dont avoid knives.

Its just annoying and exhausting Like I get it. Knifes exist. Cool.
Can I think about literally anything else plz

Its been like 100 intrusive stabbings in the last hr and a half.
I dont feel anxious. I dont engage. I never really have its all meaningless.

But dang.
Annoying af.
so exhausting.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Acute Anxiety

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  • Ladoo

    158d

    I'm not familiar with all the subtypes of OCD and apologize if you already know this, but have you read about Harm OCD? I think there's also a subtype in which people do not have compulsions, but again, I'm not educated in the subject.

    • SunInAugust

      158d

      i have heard of it! I went to get tested and they said I didn't have OCD because the thoughts don't cause anxiety and i have no conclusions or rituals or avoidance. Its like I have the O but not the C in OCD

      • Ladoo

        158d

        It could be that they decided you have traits of OCD, such as the intrusive thoughts, but overall not OCD.

  • Sonyiamarie

    158d

    I have severe OCD and was just hospitalized for it because I was not medicated properly. OCD can be cruel. Having unwanted intrusive thoughts that won't go away or are very hard to make go away is OCD normally. That's what I was told by my therapist. I have it very badly and now that I'm on new medication, I'm able to deal with it, but I had a lot of harm OCD thoughts and eventually led to actions. I'm very thankful I'm alive now that I can think clearly, but it is a very scary place to be.

    • Ladoo

      158d

      I was also recently hospitalized as well for similar reasons. It really is a fickle thing. I still have a ways to go in order to feel some sort of relief, but I'm glad to hear you're doing better friend :)

  • kaybc

    157d

    I've gone up and down through all levels of severity of ocd my whole life and in my non-professional but lived experience opinion, it just sounds like regular intrusive thoughts. Obviously, more severe than the average person has, but I've seen many people with autism also say they have these similar ocd-like traits. Repetitiveness and intrusive thoughts are integral parts of how both of our brains are hardwired, however if you don't really engage or feel anxious about it then I don't think that qualifies as the actual disorder.

    • SunInAugust

      157d

      this is validating thank you. It didn't seem like i had ocd of i dont have the c. But I also didn't feel like the level and quantity and themed nature of the thoughts were 'normal'. I feel like I'm a prime candidate to develop the disorder but don't currently have it. Or maybe had it as a kid? As a kid of i didn't focus on my blinking i thought it'd stop working, and with my breathing, to the point I missed a lot of 2nd grade class teaching. But I dont do any mental compulsions now or feel anxious. Just so tired and annoyed

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