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SunInAugust

510d

OCD brain has a thousand thoughts the last 2 days. Really graphic troubling intuitive thoughts on repeat. Not engaging with them its just.... exhausting. I just.... its so exhausting. egodystonic and exhausting. I want to think of other things.

Top reply
    • ricecake

      496d

      @SunInAugust if you like crafting, you should look into messy journaling where people create literally anything on papers with no thoughts

    • ashbear2022

      496d

      I feel this SO hard recently! I wish I could make them stop like I used to be able to.

    • Sunshineseeker90

      498d

      😥 I'm sorry. One day at a time.

      • SunInAugust

        498d

        @Sunshineseeker90 definitely

    • immanentlight

      510d

      I know what you mean. The intrusive thoughts that don't leave.. washing dishes is like a fight with me. It's like I'm my worst enemy and I see it and can't stop it 😭

      • SunInAugust

        509d

        @immanentlight last night I really wanted to check the oven and front door again but choose not to. Little victories

    • Sox

      510d

      I noticed something you noted in the post that I do a lot, and I'm hoping pointing it out can help both of us - You mentioned intrusive thoughts and followed with "not engaging with them." I do this too - "I'm having these terrible thoughts BUT I'm not engaging with them." I find though that when I do this, I'm shaming myself for thoughts out of my control, AND making these real rules to try to prove that I'm in the wrong The issue is that, by the nature of my ocd, my rules will get stricter and stricter. Now, I think I'm a monster for thinking about thinking about the thoughts that are intrusive. The whole point of this is to say - yes, it's very exhausting and I'm sorry you're going through this. Remind yourself that these thoughts are not *replacing* engaging with the acts these intrusive make you think; you wouldn't do this stuff in the first place. I'm still new in this journey, so maybe you're already way passed this!!

      • SunInAugust

        510d

        @Sox thank for taking the time and energy to tell me about your experiences! I wanna clarify by nonengagement I dont mean judge or stopping the thoughts or relaxing them or any mental gymnastics. Its more "humm..idk. that could happen. That might suck. I never get to know for sure." Its very neutral and I've never felt like I've judged myself for the thoughts regardless how disturbing OCD can be. Deep down I know they aren't 'me', im not my thoughts. Nonengagement in this way has been profoundly helpful for me because when anxiety comes with "what if you did THIS!?!" And I casually respond "idk, could be. Who knows." Its like the anxiety is disarmed. It doesn't have a second point to make. What was bothering me the most the past few days is the frequency. It ebbs and flows and there are decent weeks and hellish weeks. Ive lost sleep to the thoughts the past 3 days and I'm sure that lack of sleep isn't doing my mind any favors.

        • SunInAugust

          510d

          @SunInAugust Replacing* not relaxing them. I intentionally do not replace the bad thoughts with good ones.

    • dandelion_flower

      510d

      Ugh. I'm sorry. Intrusive thoughts and overthinking is the worst. I hope they go away soon. Do you have something you like to hyperfixate on? I found that helps me a bit.

      • SunInAugust

        510d

        @dandelion_flower i was thinking a good distraction could help. Hard to shift focus sometimes ya know? Especially when the thoughts are so loud

        • ricecake

          496d

          @SunInAugust if you like crafting, you should look into messy journaling where people create literally anything on papers with no thoughts

        • dandelion_flower

          510d

          @SunInAugust Yeah, I get that. Long projects like writing or art or whatever you're interested in that are easier to just get going on are better. For me, after a few minutes of drawing while listening to music I'm completely absorbed by it. Have you ever tried listening to white noise? It weirdly helps. But I'm only speaking from experience, yours may be totally different

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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