Just need to vent/get reassurance/advice
Several people in our lives brought up the idea of us having OCD because we're a bit picky with germs and organize stuff in a certain way, but we always brushed that off because it was never really intrusive in our lives and we've always seen people say there's more to OCD, so it never really occurred to us.
But we've been talking with our therapist lately, a new one, and he noted that a lot of stuff we do (clicking the light three times before we go to bed, double-checking the back door is locked multiple times, having to press buttons of all sorts multiple times before it feels "right" (that's the most annoying one)) and feeling SUPER distressed if we don't sounds like OCD, and now I'm kinda thrown. Because it's gotten so bad I haven't been able to sleep because I couldn't properly finish my bedtime ritual before (because there are a LOT of buttons involved in that) but also the distressed feelings aren't like we believe something bad is going to happen, it just feels AWFUL and we CANNOT IGNORE IT.
There's also been the idea of a type of tic disorder having been brought up beside/instead of OCD, which I've looked into in the past but never seriously, so idk.
I feel like if there IS a disorder behind it then everything will suck forever between the anxious thoughts (very VERY unwanted thoughts about doing stuff I would never want to do and VERY difficult to get rid of ;-;) and the repeated habits (particularly the button clicking) making stuff awful and the day very hard to get through. And I feel like I'm just overreacting and it can't possibly be these disorders (even though my therapist was the one that brought it up) because they're not that simple and I'm just being a stupid ignorant person who wants to show off or whatever even though my life has been hell since it started getting worse.
Just a vent, and if anyone has advice/reassurance I'd be happy to hear it. I'm not trying to be rude or invasive on OCD or tic disorders or anything, I just needed some venting. (Also sorry if I shouldn't be putting this in the OCD thing, I'm not sure).