Struggling with Relationships and Chronic Illness

i think an important perspective here is to think equally about the other party. if you dont deserve the effort required, do they? why do you interact with this person and form a relationship with them? is it because they work to deserve it, or because you simply enjoy their company? Maybe you dont deserve their effort, but if they want to put the energy into spending time with you, that's their choice. If you gain satisfaction and pleasure from helping someone or making them happy, wouldn't it be frustrating if they didnt let you because they claimed they didnt deserve it? TLDR; if someone wants to spend time with you and make you feel nice, let them. It isn't fair to tell someone that they shouldn't. Let people do what makes them happy, and if that happens to be spending time with you, so be it!

I had this feeling for a long time and I still do get it from time to time.. self esteem meditations and affirmations help me

You deserve love.