I think this is more of a rant but maybe you all can relate- I’m in college and have been dealing with chronic pain for all of it, my friends do stuff all the time without me. It sucks because I ask them to spend one night doing a movie night with me or games or something where they just don’t go out and they never want to do that. A lot of them have been complaining to me when they can’t go out or do something when they know that’s my everyday. I’m getting tired of them complaining to me when they miss ONE thing and they see I miss EVERYTHING. I guess it just is really frustrating and sad for me at this point and I don’t know how to navigate it.
If they know about your illness and they do this then they are not your real friends.. I say find better friends.
I have dealt with chronic pain since 2012. I also feel all the things I have and could do are taken from me. It is all due to severe osteoporosis, lupus, fibromyalgia, degeneration and slippage of disc and vertebrae. So many meds and shots tried on me but nothing took the chronic pain away. I finally ended up with a nerve root stimulator and a pain pump. This pain pumps helps a lot but still some pain. I have days and bouts of pain depression and anxiety. But I’ve come to realize this is my life now and it won’t change so learn to live with my pain because it is my constant companion. I try to get out and do small things when I can, get with family and friends, and look for new ways to do things. We’ve got to find some positive and good in each day or I would end up in the pit of depression. You see I used to run, hike mountains, ski, etc. but now I’m limited to maybe a walk around 1 or 2 blocks, cannot lift anything over 8# or do much household work or much outside activities. Well, I’ve said enough for now but I realize I can relate to y’all!
I feel you.. Ever since I began having chronic pain in middle school, all of my friends and teachers HATED me and would always question if I was lazy, stuck-up, or selfish for the amount of days I always missed. It sucks ass having chronic pain literally no one understands.. Even my own highschool principal wanted to send me to a continuation school cuz my grades understandably sucked cuz he didn't want someone mucking up his perfect grades! Luckily after 7 years of shitty friends and peers, I finally get to have them out of my life since graduating highschool.
Except now, I'm lonelier than ever due to chronic pain that's now at a 8-9 out of 10. I have people, including my family, always questioning me if it's "really that bad.." or if I'm just "lazy" or "selfish." I can understand why, since I'm unable to do work, college, exercise, chores, or even take care of myself or have a social life.
It's exhausting and hurts seeing everyone around me being able to do literally anything and everything. My cousins at the age of when my chronic pain started, thriving and having great social lives in middleschool. And my mom and uncle always doing anything and everything to get out of the house and leaving me to question why nothing in my life is getting better.
One of the very few light if my lifes is my boyfriend who doesn't have chronic pain, but has had family members that struggled with it. We don't get to see eachother much, but he at least understands and respects that I prefer to be in bed all day and unable to do a lot of things. We at least share an issue with depression so we get to bond over that reason to wanting to stay inside.
I may not know your friends, but they shouldn't make you feel like shit for something not your fault at all. Try to find people in your area that deal with your same issues, maybe find a support group somewhere. Cuz screw them if they can't respect what you need and continue to guilt you about small things they "miss" instead of thinking about how it could make you feel. You deserve to be respected like everyone else.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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