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mrsp

497d

why do people who don't have chronic pain not realise that we're not doing fun, exciting things on days off from work ? I mainly sleep and feel bad about myself. anyone else?

Top reply
    • LeonardMartin

      258d

      At this point my friends have stopped talking to me because I'm in too much pain to go hang out with them anymore, and my mom is still convinced I'm just lazy.

    • LeonardMartin

      258d

      At this point my friends have stopped talking to me because I'm in too much pain to go hang out with them anymore, and my mom is still convinced I'm just lazy.

    • idk_182

      390d

      Literally. Everyone assumes I don't come to college cuz I "can't be bothered" or im "lazy" but that couldn't be further from the truth. Infact most times is cuz I was tryyyinggg to be so productive the day before and ignore my pain that I've made it worse and it makes me feel so useless and bad abt myself like I csnt do anything. That ain't fun

    • CaturdayNight

      495d

      They just have no frame of reference so they can't imagine what it's like. When they get frustrated (as we all do) instead of trying to improve their situation it's much easier to be mad or jealous at someone else. This is, of course, not a good way to handle it but it is a very human response.

    • Unicornslayer27

      496d

      Pretty much me most the time

    • malachai

      497d

      It took my mother hearing me repeatedly tell her on errand days that I was too tired and sore and in pain from running the necessary errands to do the fun stuff I specifically begged to do for days or weeks prior for her to realize I was feeling AWFUL and not just being dramatic Able bodied people seem to think we have a switch we can turn off our pain with and go out and do fun things, but it doesn't work that way. I don't think they realize that if I had my way, I'd be able to go out and have fun and do all the things I want to do. I'd have a full time job and meet new people and make new friends and LIVE I don't enjoy my condition, and a lot of people who don't experience what I do seem to think I do. I've been called lazy, self serving, selfish, and many other names because I'm unable to do anything but the bare minimum due to my pain levels. Most days I can't even wash a dish or cook something for myself, I'll survive off snacks like peanut butter crackers and granola bars and electrolyte drinks. I most definitely don't like it, I'd love to have a hot meal and sit with my family and enjoy myself, but I just CAN'T Able bodied people seem to think this is some dream come true where we rest more often than them and "get to relax", but I'd rather not do any of those things and not be in pain. This isn't fun for us, a lot of us are suffering, but we're expected to be the "positive disabled person" or else we're bitter. We can't be upset about ableism or else we're "unwilling to educate others" or "not doing the work" ourselves. Lots of people are going to end up disabled in their lifetimes, be it due to something like long Covid or age related conditions or accidents, there's always a chance of becoming disabled, yet these people don't care until they're in this position. I've been mentally disabled since childhood, and nobody cared until I couldn't be a productive member of society. Until I had nothing to OFFER. Disabled people are more than they can offer to capitalism or society, but able bodied people will never understand until they themselves are disabled, and by then, no able bodied person will listen to them anymore

      • mrsp

        497d

        @malachai oh I hear you. Sending so much love

      • faerywyrm

        497d

        @malachai I agree wholeheartedly.

    • TattsCatsNaps

      497d

      Preach - expect I used to push myself to do those things. Then I realised I regretted it every damn time. I now choose who I share my energy with sparsely and at 28 have concluded I will be a cosy cottage core queen with no regrets (HSD/hEDS, ASD, fibro)

      • mrsp

        497d

        @TattsCatsNaps queen. I'd love in the middle of a forest with no regrets

    • Atheris

      497d

      I don't know. It's so frustrating. It doesn't seem like it should be a hard concept. Don't we start teaching empathy in kindergarten? I'm not you is completely foreign to my family

      • mrsp

        497d

        @Atheris I think some people outgrow it unfortunately 🥺

    • Igglepiggle

      497d

      Yes 😞 Sle adhd autism ptsd gad and more over here I have no life and wish people had more sympathy honestly I feel so alone and stressed about it my lupus is awful and stops my life in every way

    • florals.and.fatigue

      497d

      Literally. Ppl are convinced I must have so much fun at home. The reality is that today I wanted to play ps4 after months of leaving my console gathering dust. Made it an hour in before the fatigue and migraine got really bad 🤷‍♂️

    • faerywyrm

      497d

      Even just with fibromyalgia and chronic migraine, I end up spending a lot of time down. Just too sore to move more than necessary.

    • Laulharbeau

      497d

      In the exact same boat. I’m 25 & have EDS, ADHD & PTSD. & I’m meant to be out being active on days off work. They do me in enough I hurt all over & am completely overwhelmed mentally on days off.

      • mrsp

        497d

        @Laulharbeau it's so hard to get them to understand. I make up things to appease them

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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Many people with chronic pain, like the ones in the provided context, share similar feelings of guilt and frustration when they take days off from work or school. They often spend their time resting, sleeping, and dealing with their pain rather than engaging in fun activities. It can be difficult for those without chronic pain to understand this experience, as they may not have a personal reference for the constant pain and fatigue that comes with chronic conditions.

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