I would never trade my sober days for days that are drug fueled. I learned though that my drug abuse was because of my mental health. I would use Coke because it would help me concentrate, I have ADD, drinking for my bipolar, depression and anxiety. Now that I take meds for these things I always want to feel like I do. Also, God has brought me so far in this battle.

I thought the same thing after using for a decade. Now I've been over a year clean from all drugs and alcohol/cigs for about 2 months, it was almost a year before I relapsed. I'm still new at this. I thought my quality of life would diminish. It has only gotten better and easier. It's not easy to start. I know, it seems like there is no life besides drugs and alcohol. And some days are still hard and man do I miss substances sometimes. But I'm better for it. Life is just a little different now. Not in a bad way. Priorities change too as you get older and grow as a person. I'm just a different person with a better set of values and now with a different and more effective set of coping skills, I'm not just self-medicating. I'm no longer surviving life, I'm actually starting to live it. Getting sober is hard. And it won't work if you don't want it to. But it gets easier and life can be enjoyable without substances, I promise.

I have gone through many years of drug abuse, went periods without using but this is the longest I have ever gone without using. It you ever need to talk inbox me

I am not sober now, but I remember my year of sobriety. It was HARD, I gained a lot of weight, lost my boyfriend of 5 years and went through a deep depression. I remember hearing people at AA talking about how great their lives became after they stopped using or drinking and I was so jealous of them. Now I think I understand a little better - there was something I could be proud of, something that took effort and a tremendous amount of strength and I look forward to getting there again. This time, I have a better understanding. A few tips for myself are, stay away from delivery food and sweets, don't forget to celebrate the milestones and when I go back to aa, make it worth my while. It IS possible, but it is scary. Sometimes scary is exactly what we need. My inbox is open, but like I said before I am not completely sober. But I understand how you feel so much.

Being completely sober terrifies me. It really does.