Struggling with Gender Dysphoria and Negative Comments

TW of slurs Explaining my dysphoria is really hard sometimes. Out of all the friends I have, I really only have my bestfriend who comforts me. He's an amazing guy and I love him so much. But most of my life I've had long hair which has caused most of my gender dysphoria, after cutting my hair short, I don't know what to do. I feel wrong for cutting it because I was always told that I will no longer be attractive because I cut it. I was told really mean and horrible things just because my mom wanted me to look feminine and I didn't. I was a tomboy growing up. Until I found myself, I identify as genderfluid and want to look androgynous, but my mom really messed my head up. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to bind, but I'll be called a freak and attention seeker again. I'll be called a dike, or tranny because I want to look and feel like myself. I don't want that. I'm scared.