Struggling with Dysphoria and Lack of Support from Family

1st post, woo-hoo! 😅 I came out as non-binary a little over a year ago, and while my parents say they're supportive, they rarely ever use my name and pronouns (my mom does sometimes, when she thinks about it; my dad has only ever used my name and pronouns mockingly, on social media, or in front of a friend who doesn't know my dead name- but he doesn't bother trying in front of family, just me, or even my friends who have known me longer than I've been out). They say I can go talk to them for anything, but whenever I mention my dysphoria or wanting top surgery, I get blown off. And feel entirely alone. We just moved to the area and I don't have local friends yet to find support from. And all my other friends are 13+ hours away. ALSO! tangent here-- I'm REALLY curvy, which I hate. I'm trying to pass as more masculine at this point in my life, but the curves really bother me. anyone know of anything I can like, place there to make it look less curvy? kinda like how a binder helps hide your chest, but something to hide your curves? 😅😅 thanks in advance!

Your answer

13perf

1y ago

I naturally had a reallllyyyy dramatic pear body type and huge hips, but I’ve been on T for 5 years and now my shape is super masc. I recommend starting T. On T, if you lose or gain weight, your body will look more masculine. In addition, your fat cells redistribute. I also wore a binder everyday for almost 4 years and my chest is now pretty flat.

AnimalBoy

1y ago

keep in mind this is based in genetics, the body shape change may not happen if your male family members are also a similar body type. In my family we ALL have hourglass figures, even some of the little kids, so while I did have fat redistribution it didn't change anything about over all shape of my body. On another note binding shouldn't do that, is it possible that you've had chest atrophy from testosterone? It's a less common, or at least less noticeable in many, effect but significant atrophy can occur especially in cases with significant body fat redistribution.

AnimalBoy

2y ago

They make shapewear for men that could work and long term wise T can change your body fat redistribution. I just found comfort in that "curvy" isn't really a gendered thing even if the general population wants it to be, it's just a body type based in genetics. EVERYONE in my family men, women, and children on both sides are obviously hourglass figured so it is quite literally inescapable for us. I personally would just stop responding to anything else, that's not your name and that's not your pronouns what reason do you have to answer to it? If you need support/to talk or have any questions about transition my messages are open!

13perf

1y ago

my family is super pear-shaped. I lost weight while on T and now I’m pretty much shaped like a stick, which I prefer.

El12345

2y ago

I have a big chest and find binders debilitatingly painful and some things that help me are layering, sports bras, big hoodies, and working out. Also maybe cut your hair short and grow out your body hair. And drink more water, it helps the veins in your hands and arms show up more and that can come across as more masculine. I can't help with pronouns, since I'm in the same boat and haven't found a solution, but have you tried changing your name to a variation of your deadname that sounds more masc or androgynous? Like I changed my name to Eliza since it sounds like Elijah, and I also go by El or Eli. Sometimes people are more likely to gender you correctly if they think you're a cis tomboy, like a Samantha who goes by Sam or an Alexandra who goes by Alex. In a lot of cases you can even just take your first initial and add J to the end, like AJ, CJ, LJ. And yeah they'll still be treating you effectively as a spicy cis girl which you're not but at least they'd be calling you what you want to be called.

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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