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v.nessa2708

452d

I think I might be gender fluid/ aro, and I wanna cut my hair short, but I'm afraid of being judged by others because I'm supposed to be a girl. I wear the same pair of sweats and a hoodie because I don't feel comfortable in my fem clothing, and I don't own any masc outfits. I've tried asking my brother if I could borrow his clothes but he turns me down every time. I also wanna come out0 to my family, but I know some of them won't accept it and the others don't understand it and would struggle to be supportive of me. Any advice?

    • Motley

      430d

      I have maybe a different perspective to bring here as someone who is ex-trans. Regardless of what you decide it's good to remember that hair, clothing, masc/fem, none of that is what makes you a man or a woman. Stressing over identity based on these superficial things can be worse for your mental health than just looking and acting in whatever way comes most naturally.

    • flaleelee

      431d

      Do you!!! Hope you are able to come out and be loved and embraced for who you are!!

    • KratomEater

      431d

      Thrift stores are great for this. Most towns have a Salvation Army that sell cloths for really cheap. I’ve found some really good cloths at these places!

    • dolphinblues

      431d

      I am not gender fluid, so I don't understand what it is truly like for you. But, I did grow up in a family that condemned you if you didn't fit into their box of who/what you should be. I was told how to dress, when I should or shouldn't talk, what I should say, and what I should look and act like. It all made me a "people pleaser" type of person. I changed who I was depending on who I was with. I was in my 30's before I figured out who I am and who I really want to be. Please, don't let anyone dictate who you should be! Be uniquely YOU! Do not do anything that feels wrong for you or makes you uncomfortable, in any way, shape or form. Stand up for your personal rights and be the strong, amazing person you are meant to be. Tell your family when the time is right for you and on your terms.

      • KratomEater

        431d

        @dolphinblues thanks for encouraging people to be themselves🥹It’s so sad how much hate there is for people who can’t help wether or not their brain is male or female when their body is visibly something else. 🫶🏽

        • dolphinblues

          430d

          @KratomEater there's too much hate in the world. It breaks my heart. I choose to spread kindness ✨️ 😊

    • Alyh

      431d

      Try seeing if there is a place that gives away clothes maybe you'll find male clothes there 💙 glad you did what you wanted and cut your hair

    • Flowerpot

      431d

      It’s your body, your life. No one can tell u what u can and can’t do. If u feel ready to come out to your family, sit them down and tell them. Whatever happens happens but your family and people should accept u for who u are not for u they think u should be

    • KratomEater

      431d

      We are all so proud of you! You are amazing and no one can take that away from you🫶🏽

    • SunInAugust

      439d

      Do it do it do it Pursue the gender euphoria!

    • Bre19

      439d

      I hope that you did what was best for you! I think as hard as it is if not everyone in the family will accept you sometimes going no contact with them is better I've had to do that it's hard but it was a good decision. There is never a rush to come out do it when you are ready.

    • MooPigeon

      452d

      Cut your hair! It will always grow back if you don’t like it! And there’s no rush to come out to your family if you don’t feel like you are in a good space or safe to do so. Make sure you have a good support system around you that can cheer you on when the time comes 🙌

      • v.nessa2708

        439d

        @MooPigeon I told myself that this morning before my haircut, and I'm in love w it!!!! :)

        • MooPigeon

          431d

          @v.nessa2708 yayyy! So glad you love it 🙌

    • v.nessa2708

      452d

      I'm trying to order some off of shein! My dad looked at my cart and said some of the outfits looked nice, but then I'll tell him I wanna wear a suit instead of a dress he said he'd rather pay a lot of money to buy me a dress w shoes then have me wear a suit. My entire family is just sending me mixed signals. I wanna come out to a friend, but I got a new friend group this year so I don't feel as connected with them, especially with stuff like this because they are what many parents would consider "perfect"

    • victoria_soluna

      452d

      Cut it! I come from a culture that is all about long hair on girls and it took me years to finally cut my hair after wanting it for such a long time. No I can't go back and I love my short hair! Even if you decide that you don't like it hair always grows. F u c k what others think

      • v.nessa2708

        439d

        @victoria_soluna I got it cut this morning and I don't regret it at all!!! 🫶🏼

    • Corduroy

      452d

      I think you should absolutely cut your hair how you want to. You don’t have to come out to your family, but if you really want to, try to secure a supportive friend beforehand. Is there any other way to get more masculine clothes?

      • v.nessa2708

        439d

        @Corduroy I just cut it today and I'm in love w it!!!

        • ThunderBeetle

          431d

          @v.nessa2708 yay!!!! good for you!!!!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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