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BeeOy

598d

im ftm, but im still in highschool and living under my parents roof, so i have been able do transition at all other than buzzing my hair. everyday when i walk down the halls at my school, i feel like a joke. im so embarrassed, i am so feminine looking. what i wear doesn’t make a difference because of my figure. even binding doesn’t do much. i wish i could start T sooner. i feel so disgusting. i have no confidence when i speak and so im always making a fool out of myself. id be so much for confident if i could transition more.

Top reply
    • AnimalBoy

      596d

      @AnimalBoy Im also really sorry that so many people on this post are derailing from the actual issues you're having and bringing your future transitional goals into question, even some of the good advice is still off topic and not particularly helpful for what you posted about.

    • AnimalBoy

      596d

      If you'd like help or tips on non medical transition options that are available for you or coping mechanisms for dealing with dysphoria im open to messages. I've been transitioning for going on five years so hopefully I can share something helpful

      • AnimalBoy

        596d

        @AnimalBoy Im also really sorry that so many people on this post are derailing from the actual issues you're having and bringing your future transitional goals into question, even some of the good advice is still off topic and not particularly helpful for what you posted about.

    • sandboxjoints

      597d

      i trust that you know transitioning is the path you need to take, but even if you were able to do it right now, i'd still also hope you'll be able to find additional healthy ways to ease your mind. your post says you have adhd, so it might help to think of it the same way as adhd medication. after things being wrong for a long time, when you first start moving towards the place you need to be in, it can feel magical. the first month that i took adderall, i felt like an entirely new person. things finally felt right. all my efforts were rewarded after years and years of struggling to function. and then, it died down. things became not magical, but normal. i was more confident, but not much. i still needed to put in effort to accomplish things, but i was finally able to start from the right place more often than not. i say this because transitioning will not magically make you a different person. it will not make you someone who's confident and self-compassionate and doesn't feel like a fool. it'll only bring you to where you were supposed to start. you can wait until you're an independent adult to try to love being yourself even with dysphoria making it harder, or you can start now. dysphoria is one of the feelings that can be especially overwhelming and i understand that completely, but practicing mindfulness to let your emotions be as you go about your life might help you find some peace right now. also, while you might not be able to feel positive about your body or all parts of it, body neutrality can be very powerful. in this life, your body is your vessel, not your masterpiece. it's nice to just observe the little things that make it yours, despite anything else. happy trails, man :)

    • Denotchka

      598d

      Be careful doing this. The physical and psychological affects are not only permanent, but the damage from going trans is not reversible. Talk to physicians, your parents and a really good counselor that you can trust. This is pretty serious and not someyhing to do lightly. Do be careful.

      • BeeOy

        598d

        @Denotchka i’ve been researching the effects of testosterone for years now, and consider it very carefully. one of the reasons i haven’t started yet is because i want to be a little older, just to make sure it’s the right decision. but it’s difficult to wait, even if it’s for the best to do so.

        • darkstarrynight

          597d

          @BeeOy HI! I forgot to mention that with voice acting, you can try to make your voice sound deeper/more masculine through training it (without T). I suggest you look into it, if your voice dysphoria is bad.

    • darkstarrynight

      598d

      I understand what you're going through somewhat. I can't bind because of my back issues, and I feel like people misgender me more.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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