Struggling with Emotions and Unemployment

Maybe this isn't the best advice, but its what I do to cope and push on. I have muscular dystrophy amongst other things and when I'm down about not being able to dance anymore, shower/dress myself and all the other things I can no longer physically do, I think to myself how fortunate and lucky I wasn't born straight into a wheelchair even though I have been told I wouldn't struggle with having to adapt to this different body and the new deformities. So I 'try' to: keep focus on being grateful that I have had the pleasure of skating, riding a bike... even getting married though I'm not divorced. To see my blessings and how very fortunate I am in other ways even though, I'm terrified of soon becoming 100% dependant on hired help and my loved ones. Blessed that I don't live in a 3rd world country, have had the stomach muscles before (not anymore so inside I'm sarcastically laughing and saddly crying at the same time, kidding kind of;) to carry and give birth to 3 children, am not sold around being sex trafficked, am not homeless... Life can be challenging but I'm not giving up, I'm a fighter but the struggle is real. I'm in PT/OT therapy and also see a psychiatrist and psychologist. I sure wish I had a wand to make my mental health better. I have negative thinking and am constantly trying to change my thoughts, ugh. Sometimes I think becoming disabled has made me a better person. More compassionate, more empathetic. Or at least I think it has. I'm a work in progress. Also, everyone has something or another, we are all in this together. I hope you see that. I sometimes feel alone and can't relate to others. Not that I want anyone to have my health conditions but I can feel so different when facing not only mental health issues PTSD, GAD but physical too. Like really, trauma wasn't enough?!

I struggle with explaining my emotions a lot as well and its really frustrating I am sorry. Do you deal with that often? If so it is called Alexithymia, and it can come up due to many things. For me it is due to my ASD, also possibly my dissociation.