Struggling with Dissociation and Gender Dysphoria

I get what you mean. I haven't had a moment without dissociation in the last 3 years. I don't feel "alive." Both my mind and body get stressed easily, and it makes it worse. My vision is literally unfocused, dull, and blurry because of this. It's hard to feel my body or what I'm touching. Sounds are distorted. I can't think clearly. It's dream-like. It makes me miserable. Trauma therapy has helped me be able to sometimes work through it enough to get a couple things done in a day. But.. I don't see a lot of improvement happening until I can gain better quality of life & less intense stressors that are constantly triggering it. I'm sorry you've gone through this too.

Just one more thing my guy.. I’m sorry if i seem creepy or annoying I’m trying my best to insist to myself that ain’t the case but if it is lmk. I just keep coming across your posts and it just so happens I relate to all of them, so forgive me. But I remember being younger and feeling like I don’t belong. I always said “I’m on a different wavelength than everyone else” and that “my frequency doesn’t line up with everyone else’s” due to feelings like this. It feels like the worlds moving around me, functioning and working and progressing.. And I’m sitting in the middle watching it all go by without having an effect on it yk? It makes it hard to feel important when the world goes on regardless of if I get out of bed or turn my assignment in or go to bed on time (its currently 6:28 am for me as I write this. Havent slept yet.) I’ve been with friends and just started drifting. Feeling like I don’t belong or that I’m a constant sore thumb sticking out. Feeling like a ghost is a perfect description. You’re invisible and you watch all the alive people go about their days, doing what healthy functioning people do. But here I am sitting in my rotting heap of a body, a bystander of everything I feel that I’ll never be a part of