Struggling to Take My Medication: Need Advice

Could the lexapro have made the intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation worse? I had some random thoughts when starting zoloft but it never went anywhere. If not maybe try putting it in a different container or different shaped pills to trick your brain a bit? Or starting half dose to get back in the habit without much effect. Since you had such a bad experience from those pills, you could’ve developed an aversion, which the brain evolved to protect you from foods that make you sick. It can be quite a strong and instantly made association (even if the food itself wasn’t responsible for the sick). I would suggest talking to your provider if they have any solutions.