How to Stop Craving a Clean Moral Slate?

How do I stop craving a "clean moral slate?" Yesterday, my friends talked to me about how when they vent to me, I'll often try to relate to them, which they know is common for Autistic ppl like me to do, but it makes them feel like I'm not listening to them. They told me they understand I'm only doing that to encourage them to keep talking and to make them feel safe, and they appreciate the thought, but they just don't like it when I do that and it makes them feel like they can't talk to me. And I love them for telling me because I genuinely had no idea that I was upsetting them, I was 100% under the impression that it made them feel better because they would tell me that it felt good they know someone can relate to them. I'm glad that I now know what I did was actually upsetting them and we can be better friends going forward. But I can't help but feel awful because I've been doing that for a year and I can't imagine how hard it must have been for them to not feel like they could tell me about their problems. To be fair, I didn't know they felt that way since they never told me until yesterday, but I still feel horrible for hurting them. I know I can't change the past, but how do I stop wishing that I could? (also, for the record, of course I'm not telling them I feel horrible for hurting them. I definitely apologized and thanked them for telling me and promised to do better, bc this moment is about them, not me. Which is why I'm reaching out here so I can figure out how to stop obsessing over wishing I had been what they needed before and just focus on being better without losing my mind. I hate hurting people).