Dealing with Social Anxiety in the Dating World

Oh yay! I’m so glad! I think plant shopping is a GREAT idea!! 😃 🪴 Keep us updated!

kim156 (hopefully you see this cause i can’t actually tag you lol) that is actually some of the best advice i’ve ever received and honestly makes me feel a lot better. i’m very glad that he’s letting me choose so i’m definitely taking advantage of that by choosing somewhere that’d make me comfortable - walking your dog seems like such a good idea, unfortunately he doesn’t have one and since we’re a little bit of a drive to each other i’d feel weird bringing my dog all that way if that makes sense lol. i’m thinking i’ll ask him if he’d wanna go plant shopping cause i loveee plants and since most places are outdoors or have an outdoor plant section, that would definitely make me feel better. i feel less like claustrophobic outside in a sense since it’s just the open air. he’s said before that he’d love to do that so i can pick out some plants for his new apartment too :) i will definitely keep y’all updated! we’re still trying to figure out when works best but we’re both free the weekend or week after next, so hopefully it’ll happen then. i think i’m also just gonna try to convince myself that my anxiety is actually just excitement, which i definitely am excited but also very nervous. if i tell myself that i’m feeling that way cause i’m excited though, maybe it’ll convince my brain to feel better and not panic as much 😅 thank you so much again!!! i really do appreciate you taking the time to write that out, it genuinely helped me feel much better about everything and will help me when the time comes <33

I relate to this. He sounds understanding though which is great! Also, I think it’s amazing that you’ve even FaceTimed a few times. This shows that you two seem comfortable together ☺️. As far as meeting him goes, ask yourself where and when you’d feel the least amount of anxiety. For me, I try to do first dates as a walk with my dog (and hopefully theirs) because I breathe better when I’m on a walk and it helps to not have to be staring at each other. I also know that if things get awkward, I can always use my dog as a discussion topic. And big plus- the place I walk is a circle trail of 2 1/2 miles so I know there’s a time limit. So for me, this works.. because my biggest anxieties are: - I don’t want to meet alone at a house or somewhere isolated -I want to be in public but not pressured to be social with others -I feel awkward staring at someone -Physical activity helps me relax -A walk has a clear end time- which gives me control to say “This was great! Thanks! Bye!” You may not relate to these at all- but ask yourself what things trigger your anxiety and what environment would provide the most peaceful space. He’s given you permission to choose what would be most comfortable for you- so take advantage of that! ☺️ Also- update us how it goes!! 😍🥰

i experience this all the time! it’s kind of like going to present something in front of class, it sucks balls before you do it and while you’re doing it, but after you’re finished you feel relieved and proud of yourself. If this person is truly trying to understand, then there’s nothing to worry about. The anxiety may not go away until it’s over but instead of filling your head with negative thoughts making the mess even bigger, try to think to yourself,”once it’s over i’ll get to talk about this experience.” you’ll feel extremely proud of yourself if you think that way. this works for almost any scenario!