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FinnMertens

521d

hi all I made a new account because my old account had my actual name on it. idk why I did that! anyway, last night I remembered a very traumatic thing that happened to me at 5 years old. I'm 29 now. this repressed memory has been something I knew was there for years but never knew exactly what it was. I knew something happened but I just didn't know what. last night I remembered more than I ever have and I'm....not doing so good. I'm clearly in a much better place and ABLE to remember these things, but I'm still really messed up about it. I feel like I'm a different person and my life has changed. nothing has changed, but everything has, you know?? I don't even know where to go from here. I have to find a therapist but my insurance sucks and I'm not in the head space to handle it right now. I don't even know why I'm making this post other than to just GET IT OUT, you know?? thank you to those who read and I hope you're all doing well <3

    • E_belli

      521d

      Hey. I'm sorry for what you're going thru. It is kind of always bittersweet (not the word I mean bc it's not sweet at all but two sided you know?) when you remember a repressed memory. Bc like you said, you're in a place that you can better better handle it which is good but also nobody really wants to remember that shit and it sucks terribly. I just found our some info about my abuser (older half-brother) from when I was 4. It kind of makes me idk sympathetic and look at my abuse a tad differently which is gross. Which idk what to do with. So I can kinda empathize with where you're coming from. Do you feel like what you remembered changed who you thought you were? Gladden do get it out! It sucks holding that in. Have you talked to your PCP? Most of the time they can recommend someone in your insurance plan that they are possibly linked to or are at least in your network. Therapy is mighty helpful.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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