Questioning My Memories of Childhood Trauma

I have extreme fears and anxiety as if I was abused but there's no clear record of it. I can't remember much from before 9 but I do have memories, not completely wiped, but if someone asked how I was back then or my best memory it'd be hard to answer. The rest of my past is also fuzzy but not nearly as much as before 9 years old. I'm questioning myself more and more as time goes on if anything happened to me at all or if I'm just making it all up. Now I question my memories of anything on a daily basis and always give in to people even when I feel like I'm absolutely sure that I remembered it accurately, which makes it ridiculously easy to gaslight and manipulate me.