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purplecow

536d

I have extreme fears and anxiety as if I was abused but there's no clear record of it. I can't remember much from before 9 but I do have memories, not completely wiped, but if someone asked how I was back then or my best memory it'd be hard to answer. The rest of my past is also fuzzy but not nearly as much as before 9 years old. I'm questioning myself more and more as time goes on if anything happened to me at all or if I'm just making it all up. Now I question my memories of anything on a daily basis and always give in to people even when I feel like I'm absolutely sure that I remembered it accurately, which makes it ridiculously easy to gaslight and manipulate me.

Top reply
    • purplecow

      531d

      Thank you for your replies. I do see a therapist, but it seems I haven't had much luck in finding a good doctor.

    • purplecow

      531d

      Thank you for your replies. I do see a therapist, but it seems I haven't had much luck in finding a good doctor.

    • Smalltowngirl2022

      534d

      You are not wrong or losing it. Trust your instincts. If you pray and/or see a therapist, do that. Be kind to yourself. The little girl you were knows something. You may be being protected from memories. You may not be able to handle them. Focus on getting well. Maybe don’t share with people who will backfire on you. Protect yourself.

    • Barbiegrl

      536d

      Trauma can trigger dissociation but also as we age we do often remember less of our childhood. Maybe something a therapist could help you with

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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