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LoverHeart

542d

By family I'm being told that if I was sexually abused I would remember what happened and who.. But I don't remember my childhood or my past it's almost as if it was on a memory card and someone hit delete. I grew up saying my dad sexually abused me but now I'm living with my dad and I don't see how he could do it. I have bits and pieces but none of makes sense. I don't know what happened to me in my past and I don't know how to figure it out. Does anyone else have the same issue or is anyone able to be around their abuser?

Top reply
    • Gigglingfairy

      529d

      I have a family friend that went through sexual abuse at 4 years old. She didn't remember it until later in life she had a huge trigger and asked her parents if she had ever been abused, and they said they thought she knew. So yeah, things being foggy and not remembering parts or even the person that did it, is perfectly normal. Also part of what the body does with trauma is find anyway it can to protect you from it. I blocked out so much of mine that I thought it happened all within a year. It went on for 3 years. With probably over 100 times that I don't remember. There are exactly 4 times that I remember with perfect clarity, and one of them was the first time it. I underwent EMDR therapy to uncover that one, and that's when I figured out that it had been happening for 3 years instead of 1.

    • kingseijuro

      529d

      I remember my physical/mental abuser but have a hard time remembering the things that actually happened. it's a very common coping mechanism the brain does

    • HattieMae

      529d

      ❤️ 🙏

    • Gigglingfairy

      529d

      I have a family friend that went through sexual abuse at 4 years old. She didn't remember it until later in life she had a huge trigger and asked her parents if she had ever been abused, and they said they thought she knew. So yeah, things being foggy and not remembering parts or even the person that did it, is perfectly normal. Also part of what the body does with trauma is find anyway it can to protect you from it. I blocked out so much of mine that I thought it happened all within a year. It went on for 3 years. With probably over 100 times that I don't remember. There are exactly 4 times that I remember with perfect clarity, and one of them was the first time it. I underwent EMDR therapy to uncover that one, and that's when I figured out that it had been happening for 3 years instead of 1.

    • Pinkfan112173

      540d

      It's very possible that you were so traumatized that you completely blocked it out of your mind. I really think you need professional help and support to get to the bottom of it.

    • Cece7

      540d

      I have sexual trauma from a cousin of mine and I feel the same way but I can remember details of the event but like the next time I saw them they acted like it never happened and have never brought it up since. So like it’s like they wanted that to be erased but it left a mark on me. And now like 20 years later I’m here still friends with them wondering if it was reality or not because you really do question things when the other person acts like it never happened for so long. I don’t even remember what age it happened at anymore. My childhood feels like a blur too.

    • HattieMae

      541d

      My own father sexually abused me & my grandfather saw it happen thru the window, he went back home, he later told my mother & made her Divorce him!!She Hated me & would Beat me & make me clean the house etc.I was only about 5 yrs old.🥺

    • Dad.of.Many

      541d

      I believe I was sexually abused as a child by one of my brother's friends. I can only remember he had dark curly hair and came over a lot. He would take me in the bathroom and talk me into doing homosexual things with him. I can't talk to my parents because they don't remember a boy that looked like that, and my brother gets mad when I try to talk to him about it so I tend to just keep quiet about it. It still causes problems with me even now at 53, but I just can't remember his face, only a blur.

    • Wesj75

      541d

      I have a tbi. It gave me memory issues. I don't remember my childhood at all. I have huge gaps in my life I just don't remember. I've learned to live with it. It's been hard. But I've been at this for 28 years

    • CinderLorel

      541d

      When experiencing an intense trauma (especially in a tender stage of development) the brain has the ability to just…forget it… the brain cannot process the events that happened so it acts like it never did. Sometimes as you grow and become mentally stronger, the memory’s may come back bc the brain is ready to deal with it but it’s completely possible one will never remember. I recently remembered being sexually assaulted when I was in the 4th grade (it very much messed me up) I forgot it even happened. I had taken a sleeping pill from my parents -looking back it could have been anything- but I knew what had happened immediately when I woke up and at some point my brain stored it away bc of how young I was. There are specific types of therapy that can help bring repressed memory’s back, if you are wanting to know for sure about what happened. Trust your instincts, your body knows what happened to it, even if your brain doesn’t.

    • GingerSnapple

      541d

      This happened to me after my ex did that. I think its a way of keeping yourself safe by "forgetting" what happened until your body is ready to process it. I know I was really frustrated trying to explain what happened to me to my therapist, because I blocked it all out.

    • Bacon_

      542d

      I don’t like going into details but the same thing happens to me. Everyone tells me that I would remember if something bad happened to me, and bad things did happen to me including sexual abuse, but it’s so foggy that I can’t remember when or who. All I can remember now is a silhouette and a vague memory of what happened but because it’s now such a vague memory, I don’t even know if it happened or not. But if anything, it works in my favor. I don’t have to get depressed about that if I can’t remember it, but it does leave me in confusion and doubt as to whether bad things ever even happened to me or not.

      • LoverHeart

        542d

        @Bacon_ I'm happy I'm not alone because it is absolutely terrifying

        • Bacon_

          541d

          @LoverHeart It is terrifying. Sadly if I could remember who it was or if it really even happened in the first place, I’d do something about it but, it’s all but a vague memory now so i’d rather keep it that way and avoid getting more depressed.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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