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Struggling with Relationship Conflict and Mental Health

rebelflamingo

709d

my boyfriend and i got into an argument last night and he’s still upset with me and i have no idea how to handle this. we’ve been together 10 months and haven’t argued seriously until last night. he tried to confront me with why he was upset and at the time i didn’t handle it well. i just sat there and dissociated and didn’t know what to say. he left and came back an hour later and he’s still upset with me and won’t make eye contact with me. after he left i sobbed harder than i had before and had to have my mom calm me down. ever since i’ve been having extremely more intense and emotional suicidal thoughts and am trying harder than anything not to revert back to self harm. i cant stop beating myself up over it. it feels like my mental health is dependent on his view of me and if it’s not perfect i hate myself and think i deserve to die. he’s my fixated person and i don’t want to lose him. i’d like advice on how to calm myself down and how to go about feeling hated by him. i don’t want to be alone right now but the more silence between me and him the more anxious i feel.

2

6

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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Top reply
    • flwrhnd

      709d

      hi - i’m really sorry about that person above?? that was not cool 🤪 anyways, if you ever want to talk, i’m here. i also have bpd and have been navigating relationships with bpd for a while. it can be really hard, so just know that you’re not alone ❤️❤️❤️

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    • MsDaisyMae

      709d

      When I get deregulated, I try grounding techniques. If it is extreme, get out of the house.

      1

      Reply
    • Phoenix22

      709d

      Start by ignoring the ass that said nobody cares. Write your feelings out, just let your hand write stream of consciousness. Get it out of your head and onto paper. Write down three things you love about yourself (your eyes, your empathy, literally anything). Write down why you are dependent on his opinion of you, and how it affects things. I still struggle with others' views of me every minute of every day, it's a constant battle. But you need to get your thoughts and feelings out, and then do something to calm yourself down and distract from the thought pattern. Watch a funny YouTube, take a bath, listen to music or a podcast, take a walk, color, do crafts, whatever you sincerely enjoy and can focus on. Focus on your breathing too (box breathing helps me - 4 in, 4 hold, 4 out, 4 hold). Focus on your body and ground yourself with physical things around you. If you want to talk or vent, my inbox is open 💝

      1

      Reply
      • rebelflamingo

        709d

        @Phoenix22 thank you so so much! this was very helpful to read and a great reminder of how to best ground myself

        1

        Reply
        • Phoenix22

          709d

          @rebelflamingo you're welcome!! You are your own person, don't let anyone's opinions or feelings, or inability to understand what you are struggling with dictate your value as a person. My husband still doesn't understand, I've been with him for 4 and a half years, it's so hard to explain bpd symptoms and struggles to someone who doesn't have it. I know it's hard to do, but I know it's possible. You'll get through this. Maybe try writing a letter to him. Doesn't matter if you give it to him or not, just write it out. Get your thoughts on paper, it helps organize them and helps your brain understand and sort through them when you're calm

          1

          Reply
    • flwrhnd

      709d

      hi - i’m really sorry about that person above?? that was not cool 🤪 anyways, if you ever want to talk, i’m here. i also have bpd and have been navigating relationships with bpd for a while. it can be really hard, so just know that you’re not alone ❤️❤️❤️

      2

      Reply
      • rebelflamingo

        709d

        @flwrhnd thank you so much, i really appreciate your kindness 💗

        0

        Reply

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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