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Femalepotato

510d

does anyone have advice for dealing with bpd in relationships? this feels like a living hell and I'm tired of constantly being mad at him and beating myself up. I feel like I'm tearing us apart. he's still here after 2½ years and I don't want the constant fear of abandonment. I feel like he's at his edge and I keep pushing him away. I overthink so much and I constantly replay images of me being mean to him in my head and get terrible thoughts of ending it all. I love my life, I love him, I have so much to appreciate and it feels like they aren't my thoughts. every second im not with him I am figuring out ways to improve us and nothing changes. I am extremely dependent on him and I am terrified of him not being right next to me. I give him no space but when I try to it hurts and I spiral mentally.

Top reply
    • Femalepotato

      510d

      @Demonia i have a hard time remembering to take them, I always have. And its sad because I don't want to be medicated the rest of my life but I also don't want to feel like a monster the rest of my life either ☹

    • Demonia

      510d

      ❤️ I understand. I'm in a similar place but the only thing that helped was my mood stabilizers

      • Femalepotato

        510d

        @Demonia i have a hard time remembering to take them, I always have. And its sad because I don't want to be medicated the rest of my life but I also don't want to feel like a monster the rest of my life either ☹

        • redbullbongwater

          510d

          @Femalepotato I feel this, I've been on meds since I was 12 so I'm kinda used to it but I wish so bad that I didn't have to be on them. that I could function even a little bit without them. but you're not a monster. I know it's hard not to think you are but you went thru something that changed the way your brain works. it's not your fault and anyone who doesn't see that, or anyone who mistreats you or anything like that because of it doesn't deserve you. I don't need to know you to know that you're a gem in this world. I'm not so good at advice but I hope knowing that you're not alone helps. we're all here for you <3

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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