Overwhelmed by Emotions: Need Advice

I need to know if anyone here has experienced anything like the following scenario and how you have began healing. today, I woke up feeling good, my partner had slept over, we spent time in bed just enjoying each others company. we got up, ate, and played some video games that didn’t go so well. which had me a bit irritated. I think I might have gotten triggered by my mother calling me, and the games unleashed something. I just went quiet, I started feeling like I couldn’t speak even though my partner was worried and asking me all these questions. eventually he got me some water and I felt ok. later, I wanted to go outside in the snow. but got distracted looking at some forms on my laptop. he then started acting strange and I felt really upset and I left the room and I started getting antsy and picking my nails and then my dog needed to go outside and I just got so overwhelmed I couldn’t even choose what to do and just was all over the place and I ended up sobbing and wanting to pull my hair out and just felt so distraught that I couldn’t even stop thinking I was terrible and that I ruined my own day by not grounding myself correctly or calming down. my partner cried when I said I wanted to hurt myself and I felt so terrible and started to sob because I didn’t want this to happen or him to feel bad or to feel like this. sorry for such detail. it’s just really hard to explain what this all is and I don’t know where my brain goes in those moments. and my partner standing their staring at me and just I have no idea what happened to me today. ive had other situations where i’ve gotten so distraught and just loose my ability like I get adrenaline and my blood boils and I feel aggressive and reckless please help ! I have other situations for examples if u want to msg