Struggling with Past Traumas: When Will It Get Easier?

Although I do engage in therapy, excercise, gratitude journaling, etc...I still find some days I struggle with memories of past traumas and it makes me go into protective/survival mode. Sometimes I'm crying nonstop when my partner is sleeping next to me. I'm 38 years old and sometimes I still will cry and get in fetal position, blanket over my head. Sometimes I can't bring myself to look or touch my partner because of certain things, he triggers my trauma wounds. I can't feel comfortable to let my guard down and I feel like I'm broken and just wonder when it will feel easier and if it will get better.