Navigating Mental Illness in a Relationship

looking for advice: I'm 22 married to a 23 year old. we've known each other for a long time and he's seen me when my mental illness was the worst, when my agoraphobia kept me house bound. He's always been understanding and helpful when I'm not doing well. but recently we've been arguing more and his whole argument is that there is "always something going on with me" and that it can be tiring but in the same breath he says that he understands that a lot of it is mostly out of my control and he's not mad at me. I'm frustrated because I don't even know what the goal is? for me to go to even more therapy? to... stop being mentally ill? He has ADHD and major depressive disorder so he's very understanding of my quote unquote "normal" disorders and symptoms but anything he doesn't deal with he has started saying is kind of annoying. Anytime I try to ask him what he wants/expects, what he's trying to accomplish he doesn't give me a straight answer. I snapped at him the other day and said if he's so tired of my mental Illnesses he doesn't have to help me through my episodes and he got offended saying that people who love each other help each other and that me telling him to stop helping me was practically telling him to leave and I said that's not what I said, I said stop trying to fix the mental Illness and now he won't have any conversation about mental health with me. I want to apologize but I don't really know what I'm apologizing for, besides offending him. I also want to make a difference but I still don't know what he's asking for. sorry for the long message I just don't really know what to do