I spent most of my 20s traveling the United States living in several different states I did this by being an exotic dancer. That was a lifestyle that comes with a cost. I was raped and attacked twice leaving clubs. And around the time I ended up in Colorado my defenses were down, I wasn't as strong as I once was mentally or physically. when I met a man that would forever leave his imprint on my life. I would spend days chained to a toilet only feeding me bits of food. He he sexually abused me for years but the first thing he did was get me addicted to methamphetamines and move me all the way out to California. It started small he would throw a sandwich at me if I didn't get his order right or smack me in my face if I said something he didn't agree with. That's when I started to see myself fading away and this scared little girl taking my place. The breaking point was when he threw me off a two-story balcony. There's much more to this, stories before this story life has not been kind to me. In my late twenties and an early 30s I spent creating a family. And then when I hit 40 my whole life changed the trauma of all that he had done to me flooding back and just overcome me. When I had my second child I suffered severe postpartum depression, it didn't help that at the same time my father became sick, dementia. As well as the fact that my second born will also be diagnosed autistic and I don't know if it was the stress of all that or if it was my past trauma but I lost my mind and left my husband got a divorce but it's not something I regret it's just something that I didn't know I needed