Maxed Out Credit Card During Bipolar Episode

In the midst of my manic bipolar episode I managed to max out my credit card. While healing I really couldn’t work and now I’m finally stabilizing, but I realized I couldn’t pay off my card so I confessed to my mom my mistake, she’s extremely upset with me and I completely understand but now she’s giving me the silent treatment and I don’t have any friends to go to and escape the negativity. I haven’t eaten today I’m too sad. Im overcome with guilt and refuse to eat although im starving. I know I can’t tell her that it was during my manic episode because she doesn’t understand and she’ll tell me im making excuses. I feel extremely bad for what I have done but no matter what I say to her I know she won’t understand. She’s extremely toxic always has been but she’s my mom and I have no where to go :/ now I’m hiding in my room because if I go anywhere else I can feel her negativity.