Feeling Lonely and Suicidal, Need Real Friends

I'm lonely. Very. My open relationship is long distance so she's been busy and I find myself getting lonely and depressed...I've been sick and I just lost a bunch of friends that were toxic to me anyway so I am looking for some real friends who won't fuck up my life..I don't know. I just need someone I could pour my emotions and feelings out to and I don't know where to go so that's why I ended up on here I feel like I have all this love to give and nobody wants to receive it I've been kind of suicidal but I know I'm not going to die I just need to get my needs met. It's weird to say, but I think I just need some attention. I'm kind of embarrassed by that honestly. I was just told by my landlord that since I was unable to keep the apartment clean they're giving me 62 days to vacate which is adding to the stress. I just lost all my friends I don't really have anything that I care about anymore. I know it's my bipolar and my depression and a change of my medication but I just don't want to live anymore yes I'm suicidal. I know I'm not going to die or kill myself but I just don't want to do this life anymore