Struggling to Feel Safe After Leaving Abusive Family

In the past, I have done mediations focused around anxiety, calming, and feeling safe. It helps a bit to remind me I am here now, and no one is trying to hurt me. I am glad you are safe now. It's good cannabis is helping you- for me, it helped, but then it made me more anxious when I would consume it (smoke or vape or what have you). Try to be conscious of your symptoms before and after you consume. It took me a while to realize. I relate to you a lot. I have PTSD as well as IBS and Chronic Pain. I can imagine how hard your other problems make it as well. But, absolutely, my body is like "oh crap! We're stressed or afraid! Let me make this worse!! ::intense pain and hours in the bathroom, miserable:: Virtual hugs... Unless you don't like hugs. Then virtual fist bump or smile or something!!

I never felt safe until I recognized exactly what I was afraid of and why. It's extremely hard to identify and even harder to force yourself to face it. All I want to do is run but it only took one time of turning around, looking at my fear and realizing that it was a lie to help me start changing. I still get triggered all the time and I hate it but now I can sometimes talk myself down by figuring out what's bothering me and dealing with it. I'm in therapy and I work hard to manage my cptsd. No cure but once you realize what you ARE afraid of, you also can see what you're NOT afraid of and for me that gave me confidence in every day life.