Honestly that sounds pretty terrifying. I hope you come to know your trauma is valid. Any reaction to any form of drug can end up harming someone that severely, especially with the seizures. I have not had the same experience though I have had horrible reactions to other drugs. Its a scary experience. Journaling helps me recover from triggers mentally. It helps ground me in time and I can let out nasty emotions I dont want to feel like fear and hopelessness. In the first few years it is likely youll need to remove potential triggers while recovering but then gradually decrease the removing of them to better assimilate a neutral response to it. Its really tough but time will help you in the end.