Craving Male Validation: My Struggle with Identity

I wanted to add on because I agree with starting new things. I think a great "rule" to put in your mind is if you like it before you think about others, highly consider trying it. It could be an outfit you saw on Pinterest, hairstyle on Instagram, or makeup look on TikTok, anything really. Then, try it out alone. When you try it, think about if it suits you, and if it does, continue with it in public or with friends. For habitual things like speaking and behaviors, I feel it's easier to get to those after the way you present feels comfortable, but starting by what you enjoy about yourself around others. Make a small list if you enjoy being funny, empathetic, flirty, stubborn, a bit more reserved, etc. Then either think more about ensuring you're consistent with what you like, and it will become less frequent for you to be who you don't like since you'll be taking up more time doing things you are enjoying. I hope this wasn't too much and also helps some!! 😅

I had a lot of problems with this kind of thing, especially with compulsory heterosexuality and femininity. Before I realized I wasn't attracted to men and was gender fluid, I felt like I had to "dress up" as a woman and pretend. And when I looked in the mirror it didn't feel like me, and I was always trying to make myself her. The most helpful thing for me was when the pandemic started, and I was almost completely away from most of the men in my life, and I explored my identity more online. When I took a break from the environment, I figured a lot out and wasn't so locked into what traditional society wanted from me. I started trying things that I never thought I was "allowed" to do like dressing differently, or even dressing the same but completely for myself. So Idk if a break from your surroundings is possible, but I think that mind set and approach can be helpful. Even if your "breaks" are only a couple hours a day. Hope this helps a little! :)