It’s been hard to grow up in a family that doesn’t understand or care about your struggle, but I’ve learned that a real family member accepts and loves you for who you are and not who they want you to be. My family was…slow to accept me as non-binary, and I’m pretty sure that if it didn’t affect my mental health so poorly and if I didn’t immediately thrust myself into the LGBTQ+ community they’d be much slower, but ultimately it’s your life to live and the longer you let others hold you back from loving yourself, the longer you’ll feel hollow. My advice for figuring yourself out is to listen to other peoples’ stories and try things on for size in safe spaces. I was raised pretty accepting, but under the belief that there were two genders. In high school I finally had someone challenge that belief and I sat back and reflected on myself. Then I got into cosplay later that year and man, I never feel more alive than looking at my silhouette in a chest binder. I started wearing clothes that fit the gender and ideal I wanted rather than what I thought society wanted me to wear and felt even better. I then had select people and circles use they/them which felt amazing compared to she/her. Right now I’m distancing myself from my birth name, using my preferred name with close friends who I know won’t leak in front of family, and transitioning into a more gender neutral nickname in the school setting and it feels great. I’m still a long way from where I want to be, but taking these slow steps has felt incredible. Ever since I was a child, I always envisioned myself as masculine, and I still wish I was born in a masc body, but somewhere along the line I got endeared to femininity and don’t want to fully give up the “female” experience. Throughout my life, whenever I imagined the future I was always this weird nameless blob succeeding at whatever goal I had at the time, but around high school when I was introduced to the concept of transgender and even more with the concept of a non-binary gender the blob started to take shape into a version of me that I recognized. I imagine taking all these steps before I actually take them, and it helps me gain the courage to actually take them. I suggest trying some things on for size—internally, mentally, physically, with friends, alone, etc.— and see how you feel. Trying things out and exploring is the best way to discover yourself