My First Manic Episode: A Reflection

what was your first manic episode like? i’ll go first: it was unlike anything i’ve felt before. i poured energy day and night into outside projects instead of dire deadlines. i stayed awake for 36 hours and then transitioned to sleeping 2-3 hours a night & getting through the day. for reference, i have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia — i moved and nothing ever hurt. i started smoking cigarettes again with people i’d just met. i started blogging. if i tried to rest, i couldn’t — i always had to be doing something. at first it was fun, and then i wanted to rest so bad. i was in extreme agitation — i couldn’t sit through conversations or lectures. my hands were always sweating nonstop. i finally felt it wear off on day 5, but on top of missing deadlines, i now had to spend more time recovering from the manic episode for about 2 days. it really threw this semester off for me. i started crying when i realized i could very well be having a manic episode. like, another one? lol. my mental health has deteriorated a lot whilst i’m still trying to keep up with neurotypical standards. it was just another huge pothole in my path; i’m not graduating this spring as i should. i haven’t touched any of the projects i started while manic since then.