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Holz

458d

When I met my boyfriend I wasn’t sick, we met during the pandemic so we both had a lot of downtime. We started dating it was going well but he joined the army and I got sick, it was okay for a while but things have been getting worse recently, he’s adventurous and always wanting to do things. I’ve tried to explain to him multiple times getting sick changed me, he doesn’t think that getting a chronic illness changes you very much. But I found myself grieving for the life I thought I would have, he doesn’t seem to understand that I can’t just go out and do something with no consequences. He asked me to do a 5k run with him once, which I currently don’t have the capacity to do but not only that I asked if he would run with me and he said no he’d run to the end and wait for me there it’s like he’s expecting me to do all of these things like a normal person I’m just exhausted trying to explain it, am I being unreasonable. I just feel like I don’t belong in his life as a girlfriend anymore I’m not sure if we’re right for each other, am I overreacting?

Top reply
    • Natz

      454d

      @Holz Doesn’t sounds very supportive to me hun and the address emotional stress of that is going to make you flare up. Maybe it’s time to think about whether this guy is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with because I can assure you that there will be a guy out there who will do everything for you and be totally understanding. Please don’t settle for less than you deserve ❤️

    • Natz

      458d

      How long have you been with him? It sounds like he’s not respecting your health situation and he should be showing you more compassion. Has he taken the time to research your diagnosis and the symptoms? Remember this, when you are in a relationship for life, you stick together through sickness and in health. If he’s not supporting you then I would be having a serious think about where you think the relationship is heading. It’s hard enough being chronically ill without the stress of an unhealthy relationship.

      • Holz

        457d

        @Natz we’ve been together for 2 years now, not really he only knows what it is because I explained it he never really showed much interest in it

        • Natz

          454d

          @Holz Doesn’t sounds very supportive to me hun and the address emotional stress of that is going to make you flare up. Maybe it’s time to think about whether this guy is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with because I can assure you that there will be a guy out there who will do everything for you and be totally understanding. Please don’t settle for less than you deserve ❤️

    • 011_Eleven

      458d

      You're not overreacting at all. People who don't deal with chronic illness will never understand what it's like but that doesn't mean they shouldn't try. I never thought I would find someone who is willing to learn and try to understand everything I go through on a daily basis but I did, a little over a year ago. He always checks in with me to see how I'm feeling and where my energy is for the day. If we had plans that might require more energy than I have when the time comes, he never gets upset with me if we have to cancel or modify the day. I am not saying this to brag. I'm saying this because you too deserve to find someone who is as caring and empathetic to your needs. It sounds like he ain't it, unfortunately and as hard as it will be I think you should consider having a serious talk with him, and maybe even end things. Being alone when you have a chronic illness is so hard, but it is even harder to be with someone who isn't at all willing or able to understand you and your needs. You deserve better, and better is out there. I'm sending you so much love. ❤️

      • Holz

        458d

        @011_Eleven yeah I spoke to him last night about taking a break at least thank you for giving me hope

        • 011_Eleven

          458d

          @Holz I'm proud of you for having the courage to do that! I know how hard it is to have hope when you're sick, so I'm glad I could help!

    • Chesbro99

      458d

      That's so hard. I'm kinda in the same place. We met a year before the pandemic and I wasn't super sick and was able to go on hikes but after a year I started getting sick. I can't do as much now because of fibro. Message me if you wanna talk more

      • Holz

        458d

        @Chesbro99 thank you

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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