Struggling with Disordered Eating as an Older Adult

You aren’t alone! Im 28 and officially diagnosed at 19 but had ED since I was a kid. I have gone to 2 treatment facilities since and can tell you there are older people still struggling and some have “recovered” or working on it continually. It’s not a teen issue. I think it’s just easier to control food intake versus other substances or behaviors that require additional resources. I think the hardest part for me is that it’s engrained in me to deal with my emotions thru behaviors and it’s still a struggle to move away from eating disorder behaviors and try to switch them for something more life giving. ED behaviors are the easiest to use though. I’ve realized I switched my binging/purge for spending/buying a few years back. When I first started to overspend I thought it was “better” or more “adultlike” and acceptable behavior but it’s a huge problem now and created a lot of unnecessary debt and I’m realizing I still don’t know how to process those emotions in a healthy way. At this point it’d be easier to binge and purge rather than keep going into debt. But I don’t want to get in that cycle again but the root issues of my ED haven’t been dealt with they just manifested in a different way. I still deal with restricting. I will for the rest of my life most likely because when my anxiety and pain are high (pretty much every day during the day) I get physically sick when I eat. I try to work around that with lot of smoothies and shakes and easy foods to digest so I’m not actually restricting due to ED and trying to not actually restrict at all. But if I’m not careful and allow myself to not be disciplined with forcing things down during the day it’ll turn back to ED really quickly and then I’ll be stuck in the cycle again. So I’ve accepted I’ll always have to manage that and find a way to work around it and manage my symptoms and check my thoughts with food. But also there are so many adults that have undiagnosed ED or actively engage in behaviors and don’t realize it and have never gotten help or don’t see it as an issue so it is definitely not just a “teen” thing. I think as adults a lot of things seem normal when they really aren’t unless you’ve gotten help and realize more about your behaviors and see them as an issue. Also something that may not be a problem for others may be worse for you and that’s ok too. You’re struggle is valid and you aren’t alone.