My husband cheated on me with his coworker

Yes leave because he wants his cake and eat it too.

He simply doesn't deserve you. You're putting in all the work and if he's still not happy? He can leave. You don't need him and he's clearly not as happy with you and loving you as he claims if he's sneaking around

You need to tell him what you need for him and if he can’t respect that and continues to basically cheat on you- you need to do what’s best for you and leave

I have been here my love, I didn't want to leave and stayed in a relationship that had no trust and I made myself even more mentally unwell doing so. Leaving will feel like the most painful thing in the world, you will need to grieve and stay strong. You will want to go back and tell yourself he won't do it again. But I promise you he will! It feels easier and safer to just forgive him and carry on but it's not. You are worth so much more than that. There is someone out there who will match your love and loyalty, its just a shame that this man isn't him. Try to stand strong and calm and tell this man its over and he needs to leave NOW not next week because he has nowhere to go, NOW. That's how they worm their way back in. He chose this, he decided to cheat and throw everything he had away. NOT you. Thinking of you and sending you so much love and happiness xxxxxx

Echoing all the other comments. I am so sorry to hear this is happening to you, this sounds incredibly painful to deal with. You seem like a caring and understanding person and you deserve someone who won’t take advantage of that the way this person is. I know that ending relationships like this is hard but it is for the best in this situation.

You deserve someone who wants to do romantic things with you and only you if that's the relationship you're looking for. There's a point when things stop being platonic and just because it isn't (presumably) sexual doesn't mean that it's not unfaithful. Even if it doesn't mean the end of your marriage it's a very bad sign that you should probably at least seek couples counseling for. You can do better though, if you choose to, and regardless of what happens things will work themselves out the way they're meant to eventually if you just keep going.

So let me just begin by saying thank you for being vulnerable with us about an incredibly sensitive topic. With that being said I want you to recognize the litteral strangers here who have replied to you and who understand the pain you feel. You are not alone. When someone crosses the boundaries we set it doesn't just hurt our trust in them it hurts US, it hurts OUR FUTURE, and so so much more. Allow yourself to feel the pain but know it is not a pain you have to shoulder alone. As someone who got into abusive relationship after abusive relationship, I know how hard it is to leave a partner you've shared so much time and intimacy with. But you have to recognize that in a relationship you are also a voice and a major part of it. You did nothing wrong. You are safe and you are loved. You have to show up for yourself at the end of the day because no one else will. You are the one that will get out of bed. You are the one who will get things done. And you will be the one to get through this. You spend the most time alone with yourself. Tell yourself it's going to be ok, allow yourself to breathe, and come up with a safe and effective strategy whether that be marriage counseling, divorce, or something that fits your needs. And remember you are not alone. I love you, we love you, you need to love you and plant seeds in the shit that your in right now to grow into a beautiful future. Please be safe and if possible update us on what happens. If you need anything you can always message me if you feel comfortable but if not please take this as a gentle reminder to breathe and that it's going to be ok❤️.

You set boundaries up and once they are broken the trust is broken. You don't have a marriage if you don't have trust. He helped build safety nets and then went and set them on fire. Save yourself from him and keep moving forward. It may not be what you want to hear but at the end of the day, you only have you. That's who you gotta trust.

I don't think he told you about it because he wanted to come clean and be loyal to you. It sounds more like he just didn't want to hide it anymore and wanted to convince you to take away the boundaries you set. When he says he doesn't want to leave you but panics at the thought of no longer being "friends" with his coworker, he's actually asking you to let him do what he wants to despite your discomfort. He's asking you to let go of all of the pain this causes you just so he can flirt with another woman. You could go to couple's therapy if you think there's any chance at saving this relationship. Maybe I was too harsh in my perspective and he truly wants to make things right. If he does, he'll stop lying to you and follow your boundaries. If he keeps pushing back at any suggestion of him actually doing what you - his wife - want him to do about this woman he cuddles and flirts with, then I don't think there's anything left to save. That sounds like he's already done with your marriage and just wants to keep the comfort of his routine. If your husband's coworker truly is just a close friend and nothing more, he should have been upfront about this in the first place. He also should have been willing to pull away enough to make you comfortable with the friendship (like not cuddling with her). That's coming from a person who has a close friend of the opposite gender.

I know its hard but you need to work up the courage to leave him. I went through exactly the same with my partner and its exhausting

You deserve better, I hope you can move on from this. Sending so much love xxx

Leave. You are better off alone. Fr

//divorce//

Leave. There's nothing here for you in this relationship anymore

plenty of people already saying this, but i would leave this relationship. you guys already had a conversation about setting boundaries. if he's blatantly disrespecting said boundaries, it's not worth sticking around. that's the last thing you want in a relationship with someone, romantic or not.

Yah with all the other people u deserve respect nd love nd loyalty everyone does thas a him problem not u, if u think it’s sum u did or are doing iss not either he’s selfish doesn’t respect u or the relationship, or he’s insecure nd has another woman striking his ego making him feel better about himself

I know it's difficult, but leave his ass. You deserve way better. Never lower your standards!

Dump his ass, send the screenshots to the coworker and say "keep him <3"

Oh honey, LEAVE HIM 👏 you are too damn amazing to deserve that treatment!

It’s cheating- straightforward. If he loves you then ask if he’s willing to go to couples therapy, if not then best case scenario is an ultimatum. Does he love you or her more. Regardless I’d try to leave.. 💔

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You shouldn't be made to feel crappy for setting boundaries, especially if his behavior communicates there is a need for them. You deserve so much better than this.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You need to put yourself first. I know how painful it is, but give yourself some space for a while. Even if it is just short term, being around him is only going to make your anxiety worse. Being around him is going to be a constant reminder of the lies and his guilt. Tell him you appreciate his honesty, and then find somewhere to stay for a couple weeks...maybe a family or friends house

That’s straight up cheating. You deserve way better. I would take a deep breath and find the strength within yourself to leave. What he did and is doing is horrible. That is not love. I hope and pray you leave him and fight for your happiness.

Oh no, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I really hate to say it, but this might not be safe to continue pressing on with, if he's THAT unwilling to be loyal.

Girl you better than me I would have smacked him around for that. Hoping things get better for you tho 💕

I’m sorry love! By him doing those acts he’s already done, that is not someone who loves you. That’s someone who wants the best of both worlds. Leave that piece of shit!!!

This is horrible I’m so sorry. He sounds horrible. I personally wouldn’t stay with someone who’d betrayed me like that, you deserve so much better

imo this is so wrong. you need to respect yourself and put yourself first 💘 if you have set boundaries and he’s broken them, you need to do what’s best for you and leave. because he sounds manipulative and quite honestly bad for you