Battling Drug Addiction with My Boyfriend: A Struggle to Live a Square Life

Battling drug addiction is an everyday struggle. I am currently in active addiction with my boyfriend. We both have talked about getting clean together but thats easier said than done. To be honest...I think we are both scared to live a "square" life. I started doing drugs at age 30 and I did it because I was curious. I never partied as a teen, I never drank, I was scared to "catch" alcoholism because my Dad had it and I didnt understand what it was at the time. I didnt get drunk for the first time until I was 23. I was a very late bloomer. But like I said...I did it out of curiousity and wanting to have some sort of fun. I understood very quickly how people use drugs to numb themselves and I even did that a few times myself but for the most part Ive been on the path of being content while Im high. I know thats not necessarilarly good tho. It deffinately is not healthy. I know that I am an addict. Im not in denial about it. I can remember the first day that I realized that this had all become a serious problem. But the new problem now is how do I get over being scared to live a square life and really work on getting clean for myself but also with my boyfriend whom is my bestfriend. I love him dearly and dont want to depend on a drug anymore before I can have even a semi-normal life with him. I want to share my life with him so getting clean with him would just be a plus.