Struggling to Cope with Relationship Stress

So my spouse wants me to get online job at home because he can’t afford rent . Like why do I have to get a job ? If I do that I’ll miss DBT group doctor appointments and not have surgery and most thing is important is I won’t care for myself or have me time anymore . He’s been mean all day projecting his issues and his feelings on to me keeps saying I’m sorry but still a god damn asshole . I didn’t ask to be treated this way . I triggered him this morning by waking him up to be on time for work , gets mad and irritated when I said omg it cold might put another pair of comfy pants on turns on the heat all mad . He’s been mean to me all day it’s flaring up my borderline personality disorder having so much resentment and anger towards him … I’m at my wits end